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Thank you notes for guests that are vs. are not attending

Belle2188Belle2188 member
100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I tried searching for this on the boards but couldn't find it, which I found surprising, so my apologies if I missed it and am repeating a question.

As far a thank you notes go, is there a difference in when you should send thank you notes to guests that send gifts prior to the wedding based on whether or not they are attending?  We got a gift yesterday from a couple that is not attending the wedding, and it seemed pretty clear that I should send the thank you note right away.  However, today, another gift arrived from a couple that IS coming to the wedding.  Do I send the thank you note now, or just let them know the gift arrived and send the thank you after the wedding.  We will have thank you cards with photos on them after the wedding and I feel like people would rather get those, but I don't want to be rude...
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Re: Thank you notes for guests that are vs. are not attending

  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Send any notes for gifts as soon as you receive them. It lets them know you got it. You could say something like "look forward to seeing you at the wedding."
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Send the thank-you notes when you get the gifts. If a gift arrives before the wedding don't wait until after to thank the giver.


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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Also, if you can get your photo thank yous in about two weeks, max, great. If it takes any longer, I would forgo that as well.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You should really send thank you notes as soon as your recieve a gift, whether or not the giver is coming to the wedding. 

    It's also less you have to write after your wedding/honeymoon.

    We received a couple gifts the day before we were leaving for our wedding, and those we waited until after the wedding to send, but 3 weeks is too much time to wait.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Send now.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think you're over-estimating how badly people will want a thank you card with a picture of you on it.  I'm not saying it's a not a nice thing and they won't think it's cute - but they'll be at the wedding - they'll know what you looked like on your wedding day. 

    People want to be thanked - they don't care what the card looks like, they want to know their gift was received and that you're thankful for it.  That's all.  Don't make them wait for it just so you can send a cutesy version with your picture on it.
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    bethsmiles said:
    Send the thank-you notes when you get the gifts. If a gift arrives before the wedding don't wait until after to thank the giver.
    Whoops, shit!

    I needs to mail a thank you this weekend then ><

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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