So, I actually just found out that I'm not a horrible person after all.

missdelilah

Sorry I've been quiet around here recently, I've had a really stressful week.  A family member called asking to borrow money for their struggling business, and I've been so torn about what to do.  Not a good time, as we've narrowed apartments down and will be hopefully be making a decision in the next week.  I've managed to get the loan guaranteed by another family member, so now that I'm not worried about losing money, I'll happily send some to said original family member.  

The funny thing is, said original family member and I haven't had a very good relationship.  When they told me about opening this business I tried to explain that it was a bad idea, but was totally ignored (because why would an Australian take advice from someone who'd been living in the US for three years about opening a business in this country, right?), friends tried to explain that this was a bad idea too.  I think all in all about ten people that I know of tried to convince them that this was a bad idea.  I thought, considering the history of not good, and at times abysmal relationship, I would get a giant schadenfreude amount of smugness when I was asked for money (I knew it was likely to happen) or the business failed.  Turns out, I feel absolutely terrible about it.  Like, really, really, haven't slept in days terrible.  So, I guess I'm not as bad a person as I'd thought.  That part, at least, is a relief.

Thanks for letting me vent.

JCbride2015

Aw.  Yeah.  I constantly feel this way about my mom when those "I told you so" moments occur.  I might expect to feel smugness but mostly I feel terrible.

Glad you aren't a horrible person?

missdelilah

Don't get me wrong.  I love the "I told you so" moments when they don't involve anything big.  

I still feel horrible, so hopefully the glad bit kicks in soon.  

chibiyui

I have a friend who, last year went through some big financial issues. (largely related to quitting his job/being forced out for showing up HOURS late) His then girlfriend messaged me asking for cash. H and I discussed it and told them that we couldn't give them money, but we would help them set up a budget, give them stuff I was going to take to goodwill to donate, H would help him with his resume, etc. Not a fucking word from them, but another friend whom he had been thinking of cutting off because he wasn't "supportive of them: gave them cash. 

Just last week, this friends new wife (different girl then before) posted this big ass status on Facebook, trying to shame people for the fact that the house is going to sheriffs sale, the electricity is being turned off in a few days, they have no food, they had to turn off their cell-phones, etc. And that we should "feel safe and secure with our steady incomes, two cars and warm homes while they starve in the cold."


He hasn't held a fucking job for two years. She was working a few part time jobs, and then quit so they could work on their "Indigo project" ie. spiritual hippie autism isn't real bullshit. It would help the community by healing their psychological and physical aliments through yoga and his breakthrough I-might-only-have-a-BA-in-psych-but-I-should-be-allowed-to-diagnose-and-treat-people methods.

I'm very torn on how to feel, on one hand he's a fucking idiot and kinda deserves to "lose" everything because 6+ months ago everyone was like "Are you sure you're okay" "Do you know what you're doing" and he's like "Oh yeah, we're fine we're fine, we got this" and they were flying off to CA and going to the beach like, every other weekend. And now here we are and they want to know why the community isn't supporting them? Oh. and he is on house arrest becuase he was caught driving with a suspended license. 

On the other hand, he was like, my best friend for years. His wife came to free yoga at the gym and said he wants me and H to stop over sometime and catch up. I'm not sure I can handle this.

chibiyui

Sorry for the vent-jacking.

Schadenfruede sometimes hurts.

Cookie Pusher

I'm a terrible person who relishes in schadenfreude. I wrap myself up in those warm feelings of snugness and enjoy every moment of it.

Yep, definitely a terrible person.

beethery

Cookie Pusher said:

I'm a terrible person who relishes in schadenfreude. I wrap myself up in those warm feelings of snugness and enjoy every moment of it.

Yep, definitely a terrible person.

Last week, FedEx showed up at my house and rang the bell. They don't usually do that unless they need a signature. I was trying to put my face on upstairs, and FI was eating in the kitchen. I asked FI to go down and sign for whatever was getting dropped off.

"They don't need a signature."

I didn't believe him, so I ran down to sign for the mystery delivery. Turns out, he was right. Whatever, I can admit when I'm wrong.

Well, as I'm turning around with the envelope in my hand (it was a fucking sample pack from WPD that I didn't even order), I see FI fall and bust his ass on the stairs.

He could've delivered his 'I told you so" from his seat in the damn kitchen.

Schadenfreude baby!!!!!!

missdelilah

chibiyui said:

I have a friend who, last year went through some big financial issues. (largely related to quitting his job/being forced out for showing up HOURS late) His then girlfriend messaged me asking for cash. H and I discussed it and told them that we couldn't give them money, but we would help them set up a budget, give them stuff I was going to take to goodwill to donate, H would help him with his resume, etc. Not a fucking word from them, but another friend whom he had been thinking of cutting off because he wasn't "supportive of them: gave them cash. 

Just last week, this friends new wife (different girl then before) posted this big ass status on Facebook, trying to shame people for the fact that the house is going to sheriffs sale, the electricity is being turned off in a few days, they have no food, they had to turn off their cell-phones, etc. And that we should "feel safe and secure with our steady incomes, two cars and warm homes while they starve in the cold."


He hasn't held a fucking job for two years. She was working a few part time jobs, and then quit so they could work on their "Indigo project" ie. spiritual hippie autism isn't real bullshit. It would help the community by healing their psychological and physical aliments through yoga and his breakthrough I-might-only-have-a-BA-in-psych-but-I-should-be-allowed-to-diagnose-and-treat-people methods.

I'm very torn on how to feel, on one hand he's a fucking idiot and kinda deserves to "lose" everything because 6+ months ago everyone was like "Are you sure you're okay" "Do you know what you're doing" and he's like "Oh yeah, we're fine we're fine, we got this" and they were flying off to CA and going to the beach like, every other weekend. And now here we are and they want to know why the community isn't supporting them? Oh. and he is on house arrest becuase he was caught driving with a suspended license. 

On the other hand, he was like, my best friend for years. His wife came to free yoga at the gym and said he wants me and H to stop over sometime and catch up. I'm not sure I can handle this.

I totally understand why you're torn on this one.  I would be too.  You tried to help, and there's only so much you can do for some people.  They should have put their energy in to a "spiritual hippie autism isn't real bullshit" website, because those things seem to get a lot of traction.