That's how far one of the owners is up my ass today, if I stopped short. He is making me insane, and this is generally the way every single person in the office feels about him, including his brother, the co-owner.
"Is that my phone?" His cell phone, sitting on his desk. I can barely hear it.
"Is that my phone?" His office phone, which has a different ring than any of the other 5 phones in the office.
He's said both of those to me about 35 times so far today.
"Are you cooking something?" as I'm standing directly in front of the microwave. Nope, just standing here to admire the wonderful view of wood paneling and office furniture from the 90s.
"It smells like chicken liver in here." Ok. Well, I heated up grilled chicken.
I seriously get commentary from him on every single thing I eat in the office, and I'm one of the healthiest people here. I eat salads (no dressing) and fruit for lunch. We're a pastry company, and there's always food out. Cheesecakes, tarts, muffins. Last week, I decided to eat a muffin (that we make here) and he happened to walk by my desk while I was eating it. And he scolded me, saying "Climbing! You're eating a muffin? Really? Did you offer me one? I guess you're not on your diet anymore."
On top of that, my assistant is out today, so I'm doing both her job and mine. You'd think he'd back off a little. Maybe he could manage to send a FedEx himself? NOPE.
There's no real point to this. I just needed to vent. He kept asking questions about my food ("What is that? Who made it?") that I just put it away.