Dad can't walk me down the aisle

JWHendersons

My dad and I haven't really had a relationship EVER. I was always with the girlfriend or wife going up. Within the last 5+ years I haven't really talked to him up until recently (I've seen him 4 times this year) I've been the one reaching out. Now last I would like for him to attend my wedding I MIGHT even dance with him (and that's a big might), but he assumed that he would be walking me down the aisle. Since before my fiance and I got engaged we had always said it was going to be my grandfather, and still saying that. Now I've considered the father-daughter dance but was throwing it out because I didn't believe my grandfather would dance at all, but because my dad is kinda back in the picture I'm thinking about doing it with him, but I don't want to plan for that and it not happen because of another falling out. So my question is what do I do, and how do I tell my dad that he's NOT walking me down the aisle. 

Now I hope you all understand what I am saying!

Thank you ahead of time for your responses.

birdybride2014

I'm not sure how to go about telling him that you would like to have him attend the wedding as a guest only, and not walk you down the isle. 

But in regards to the father daughter dance, you could always plan on it, but then if at the last minute something happens you could just tell the DJ to nix the idea and no one would be the wiser. 

holyguacamole79

JWHendersons said:

My dad and I haven't really had a relationship EVER. I was always with the girlfriend or wife going up. Within the last 5+ years I haven't really talked to him up until recently (I've seen him 4 times this year) I've been the one reaching out. Now last I would like for him to attend my wedding I MIGHT even dance with him (and that's a big might), but he assumed that he would be walking me down the aisle. Since before my fiance and I got engaged we had always said it was going to be my grandfather, and still saying that. Now I've considered the father-daughter dance but was throwing it out because I didn't believe my grandfather would dance at all, but because my dad is kinda back in the picture I'm thinking about doing it with him, but I don't want to plan for that and it not happen because of another falling out. So my question is what do I do, and how do I tell my dad that he's NOT walking me down the aisle. 

Now I hope you all understand what I am saying!

Thank you ahead of time for your responses.

How far out is your wedding?

emmaaa

You don't really need to tell him that isn't walking you down the aisle. That's like walking up to someone and telling them they aren't a bridesmaid. Now if he asks, just tell him, "Thank you for considering it but I've decided that I really want my grandfather to walk me down the aisle. Maybe you would dance with me during the reception?"

You could plan to do the father-daughter dance and if something comes up and you decide not to, just let the DJ know. If anything you could just agree to with your father to share a dance at some point in the night if you don;t want a spotlight dance.

theartistformerlyknownas

So you say he assumed he'd be walking you down the aisle... did he bring it up and you put off giving him an answer? Just say "Sorry, I've already asked Grandpa to do it, and he's really excited about it. It wouldn't be fair to him to take that back now." You don't need to tell him why, but you should give him an honest answer.

ShellD13

I have a very similar relationship with my father.  My first engagement he did exactly what your father did...

I'd follow the PP's suggestions and just be up front with him.  If in conversation he brings it up then address it honestly.  If he hasn't brought it up and you want to avoid the last minute conversation you could address it during general wedding talk and just mention that you asked Grandpa to walk you and he is really excited.