BEETHERY I'M CALLIN YOU OUT

sophhabobopha

beethery

JK gurl I love you. 

I think you're my spirit animal. Will you take me on in some sort of disciple relationship? I promise I won't Judas you.

beethery

See now I got home and saw this and was like THE FUCK? WHAT'D I DO???????? HOW STRONG WAS THE WINE GAME LAST NIGHT? WHO WON?

@ashley8918 told me if I didn't respond to tags with this I am in the wrong, so here it is (and it is correeeect honey)

I don't know why in THEEEE FUCK y'all think I'm cool, but lord knows I appreciate it! 

I'm gonna tell you now though, I am not any kind of leader you want to follow because ain't shit going to get done in your life.

Remind me tomorrow to make a Pope Beethery Approveth thing. I need to practice my gloating approval face for it.

What are you all doing today?

KatieinBkln

beethery said:

See now I got home and saw this and was like THE FUCK? WHAT'D I DO???????? HOW STRONG WAS THE WINE GAME LAST NIGHT? WHO WON?

@ashley8918 told me if I didn't respond to tags with this I am in the wrong, so here it is (and it is correeeect honey)

I don't know why in THEEEE FUCK y'all think I'm cool, but lord knows I appreciate it! 

I'm gonna tell you now though, I am not any kind of leader you want to follow because ain't shit going to get done in your life.

Remind me tomorrow to make a Pope Beethery Approveth thing. I need to practice my gloating approval face for it.

What are you all doing today?

YASSSSSSSSS.

That is all.

No it's not. I love Cider-fest. DID YOU GUYS KNOW YOU CAN MAKE A CIDER WITH KOMBUCHA IN IT IT IS SO GOOD THO.

beethery

What the hell does kombucha taste like?

I drink iced tea from dunkins all the time and like... tetleys or whatever when I can be bothered to make it at home. Only time I EVER heard of anybody drinking the damn mushrooms was when my bestie G decided she needed to try it. Oh LORD. Story time, gather round.

Characters:

G, my best friend

R, G's boyfriend and a person who is a taint become human. He is terrible and dumb.

W, G's older brother.

Setting: G's childhood home that she shares with R and W. W was the oldest at 21.

So I went over for a "party" at G's house. There were 6 of us there. G has decided this is the night to try mushrooms. She chokes back this nasty-looking tea that looks like if you just took a handful off the ground in the woods and put it in a water bottle with some coffee grounds and water. Not appetizing. Then we go downstairs.

Their basement looked like if you crossed a rave with devil worship when you put on the blacklight. W and his friends have gone buckwild with blacklight paint and painted all kinds of dumb shit all over the walls. Their terrible band (thankfully) does not have a vocalist at this time, and so they are basically just jamming and I am tolerating it to be nice.

After a while, the mushrooms must've opened up G's mind. I'm sitting in a plastic lawn chair with my ankle up on one thigh. I have a new pair of etnies on (mind you, this was 2006) and the laces are just GLOOOOOOOWING in the blacklight when G spots them. 

G started clawing at my shoelaces bugged the fuck out. Just eyes as big as could be and with this crazy ass grin on her face. I said, "G, do you want my shoe?" 

"Noooooooooooooo. No, I just... no."

 

"Ok."

She starts going for the laces again until I took my shoe off and handed it to her. She has this horrified look on her face, very gently hands me my shoe back, and then fucking BOOKS IT upstairs.

R goes upstairs to check on her every now and again. One time, he comes downstairs and says, "G wanted me to tell you that there is a wildebeest jumping on your car. She thinks it was a wildebeest."

I went upstairs and G was walking VERY PURPOSEFULLY around all dressed, wearing a coat and her shoes, and also carrying her purse. She looked like how you look when you're trying to get something quickly in the mall and all the cart people won't leave you alone.

I asked about the wildebeest, and she shook her head a lot and said she wasn't comfortable talking about it.

Another update: G has requested to watch Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas and she also wants a gun so that she can protect herself. R, ever wise, puts F&R on for her, and LET HER HAVE A GUN (thankfully unloaded and superduper checked).

So later I go up to visit the ladies room and I see this big nest made of blankets, with one draped over the top, in front of the tv with a stack of blankets folded up off to the side. The TV is blaring this weird movie and I see this little hand REACH OUT, snatch another blanket, and retreat back into the nest.

She eventually fell asleep in her bed and we found all of the blankets outside the next morning.

G and R broke up a few months after that, she married her husband A, and they are happily ever after and she doesn't experiment with psychedelics anymore. Wee!

sophhabobopha

I just got back from a Mary Kay party my SIL guilted me into, so I'm eating chinese food in a full face of makeup.

theycallmelinz

beethery said:

R goes upstairs to check on her every now and again. One time, he comes downstairs and says, "G wanted me to tell you that there is a wildebeest jumping on your car. She thinks it was a wildebeest."

This made me laugh out loud, and FI shook his head at me. Also, I used to have the same etnies that glowed (glew?) in the dark.

beethery

lulu411 said:

beethery said:

R goes upstairs to check on her every now and again. One time, he comes downstairs and says, "G wanted me to tell you that there is a wildebeest jumping on your car. She thinks it was a wildebeest."

This made me laugh out loud, and FI shook his head at me. Also, I used to have the same etnies that glowed (glew?) in the dark. The ones I had were gray but the laces were so bright white that they were ESPECIALLY pronounced under the black light. Wildebeests R srs business.

Sugargirl1019

OMG WE'RE DRINKING BAILEYS IRISH CREAM AND ITS SO GOOD!!!!!

alpacalunch

beethery said:

What the hell does kombucha taste like?

It tastes like tea threw up in your mouth. I may have had a bad experience with kombucha. Is it weird that I'm nearly 30 and still reallllllly want to try shrooms? And that this story really only intrigues me more?!

theycallmelinz

chrisandcait said:

beethery said:

What the hell does kombucha taste like?

It tastes like tea threw up in your mouth. I may have had a bad experience with kombucha. Is it weird that I'm nearly 30 and still reallllllly want to try shrooms? And that this story really only intrigues me more?!

I'll be 27 in a few months and I wanna try ecstasy.... haha

wandajune6

lulu411 said:

chrisandcait said:

beethery said:

What the hell does kombucha taste like?

It tastes like tea threw up in your mouth. I may have had a bad experience with kombucha.

Is it weird that I'm nearly 30 and still reallllllly want to try shrooms? And that this story really only intrigues me more?!

I'll be 27 in a few months and I wanna try ecstasy.... haha

That description of kombucha matches my experience

Ecstasy is fun. Just make sure you get good stuff. Bad stuff is disappointing and can make you sick. And, umm, drugs are bad?

hellosweetie1015

Beethery, that was the best story I ever read. Srsly.

Viczaesar

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to identify a wildebeest if I saw one (real or imaginary).  I sort of don't want to look up what they look like, like it would ruin the fun if I saw one and could actually identify it.  Is that weird?

beethery

Viczaesar said:

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to identify a wildebeest if I saw one (real or imaginary).  I sort of don't want to look up what they look like, like it would ruin the fun if I saw one and could actually identify it.  Is that weird?

I'll give you a hint, they ran Mufasa down.

Viczaesar

beethery said:

Viczaesar said:

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to identify a wildebeest if I saw one (real or imaginary).  I sort of don't want to look up what they look like, like it would ruin the fun if I saw one and could actually identify it.  Is that weird?

I'll give you a hint, they ran Mufasa down.

I'm thinking shaggy with hooves, but that applies to a lot of things, right?  Like a highland cow (aka hairy coo).  I mean, I know what they are, I just can't bring one to mind at the moment.  Do they have horns?  I have such a shitty memory.

beethery

Viczaesar said:

beethery said:

Viczaesar said:

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to identify a wildebeest if I saw one (real or imaginary).  I sort of don't want to look up what they look like, like it would ruin the fun if I saw one and could actually identify it.  Is that weird?

I'll give you a hint, they ran Mufasa down.

I'm thinking shaggy with hooves, but that applies to a lot of things, right?  Like a highland cow (aka hairy coo).  I mean, I know what they are, I just can't bring one to mind at the moment.  Do they have horns?  I have such a shitty memory.

Yup!

Viczaesar

From the neck down he looks kind of like a moose.  A skinny moose.  I was not expecting that!

jdluvr06

That was the best story ever.