How much help is okay to accept?

JCbride2015

I'm still waffling about whether to get our centerpieces from the florist or DIY them.  Our current florist quote is in the ballpark of $1100 for 17 centerpieces, whereas I think I can get the bulk flowers for around $500-600.  Either way I plan to buy my own vases so that part is a wash.

Obviously finances are on the side of DIY.  My problem is actually doing it and specifically when and with whom to get it done.  We can't deliver to the venue until the afternoon of the wedding (annoying but non-negotiable).  I think we'd need to actually put together the centerpieces either the night before the wedding or two nights before (any tips on which is better for keeping the flowers nice?) and find someone trustworthy to deliver them to the venue about two hours before the ceremony.  Putting together 17 centerpieces is really overwhelming and seems like a job for a lot of people.

All of my BMs have repeatedly said in general "If you need help please let me know!"  And they have brought it up a bunch of times, individually, so I think they genuinely want to help but I'm afraid this is a little much.  My grandmas and mom have also said they are happy to help with whatever needs doing.  Would it be asking way too much to ask my BMs, mom, and grandmas to hang out in my hotel room the day or night beforehand and put together a shit ton of flowers with me?  I'm thinking this could either be fun (bubbly, snacks, pre-wedding girl time) or terrible (frustration, drooping flowers, staying up all night).  With all BMs, me, maybe Fi, and close family members, it would probably work out to 1-2 centerpieces per person.

What do you ladies think?  A) is this a reasonable thing to ask for help on, and regardless, B ) does it seem like a project of this size is just asking for trouble or does it seem like a good way to save $600?

We have an appointment with the florist on Saturday so I'm hoping to figure out florist vs. DIY this week.  It's one of the last "big rocks" for the wedding.

ETA: the was funny but a little dude in sunglasses was sort of messing up my list.

JennyColada

Personally, and this could be because I've been to 1 wedding in my adult life and been in a WP 0 times, I would happily help you with your flowers. I mean, maybe not 14 hours of time, but I'd be cool with 4 hours and snacks and girl time. It sounds fun to me and I would be really happy to help a friend have an awesome wedding.

theycallmelinz

I have about 150 bows to tie for my invitations (because I'm dumb and chose invitations with bows) so I told my girls, "Hey, I'm sitting down on this night to drink wine and tie bows. Anyone who wants to come take part in this wine-drinking/bow-tying extravaganza is welcome to join but definitely not required!" And several of my girls who are free offered to come help. Maybe you could do something along those lines? Tell them when you're planning on working on this stuff and if they're bored/wanna come keep you from throwing all your flowers down the garbage disposal they're welcome to come over. 

slothiegal

I think this is totally reasonable.  Everyone has already gone out of their way on their own to offer to help, and it would be a pretty healthy chunk of change to save, so I see no problem!

jenna8984

It sounds like you have a ton of people available and willing to help, so I would not mind at all doing 2 centerpieces. If it were just you and I and you expected me to do 12 of them myself, I'd hate you to death. Although, I'm not good at flower arrangements so I'd be stressed that it didn't look nice enough for you compared to the others. I know you probably wouldn't care and would say it's fine but I would still be stressed about it. 

Are you dead set on flowers, or have you thought of something simpler like a lantern/ candles? 

rcher912

I'd do it, to, especially if snacks and drinks (wine!) are provided. I think it sounds like fun! But definitely consider everything else you'll need to do that week, and if you think you'll just want to lounge. If you're psyched and ready to DIY, go for it, you'll definitely get at least a few bites (I wouldn't count on everyone who offered, just because of scheduling conflicts) - also take into account the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, whenever that's happening!

blabla89

If I were a BM I'd be happy to help. If you're really worried that it's too much to ask, you could put it out there as an invitation to the flower-assembling hangout rather than a plea for help.

JCbride2015

jenna8984 said:

It sounds like you have a ton of people available and willing to help, so I would not mind at all doing 2 centerpieces. If it were just you and I and you expected me to do 12 of them myself, I'd hate you to death. Although, I'm not good at flower arrangements so I'd be stressed that it didn't look nice enough for you compared to the others. I know you probably wouldn't care and would say it's fine but I would still be stressed about it. 

Are you dead set on flowers, or have you thought of something simpler like a lantern/ candles? 

Yep, dead set.  I've been trying to convince myself for a month or so (since the dental bill from Hell) that a totally non-floral centerpiece, like book page flowers or just candles, would suffice.  But nope.  It's My Vision.  For some reason I feel very strongly about fresh flowers.  I just love them.  In my house right now I have two mixed bouquets (one was a gift), and a hydrangea arrangement.

I think the key as others have mentioned is to ask in a way that people feel free to decline if the idea of arranging flowers is too stressful.  I like the idea of "Hey, I'm doing this on Thursday night and if you want to come over there will be wine!"

kaitlynmichelle

I see no problem considering they have offered to help.  Just make sure they all know they don't have to help if they no longer want to/can't.

If you gave me snacks and drinks, I would have no hesitation in helping.  I'm going to be MOH for one of my MOHs this fall and I already anticipate helping doing something similar beforehand.  If is possible, could you do a trial run beforehand so if anyone has trouble, you have done it/know what you want out of the centerpieces?  

I'd take help from anyone that offers, as this will be easier to accomplish with more people.  Again, if they offer.  To save that much money would be worth it to me.  It gives you either more money saved, more to upgrade something else with, or a nice sized buffer in case something comes up or costs more than you anticipated.

theartistformerlyknownas

As a person who is completely unable to accept help and realizes the hypocrisy... let them help you. Seriously. I never offer something I'm not willing to follow through on, so they likely really meant it when they offered.

Along the same lines though... I did 26 centerpieces in about 6 hours by myself. It can be done, and is not that difficult. Floral foam FTW. My BIL and H's aunt offered to deliver/set up and I had to let them help with that. Even though I tried to go around and rearrange every table myself.

JCbride2015

rcher920 said:

I'd do it, to, especially if snacks and drinks (wine!) are provided. I think it sounds like fun! But definitely consider everything else you'll need to do that week, and if you think you'll just want to lounge. If you're psyched and ready to DIY, go for it, you'll definitely get at least a few bites (I wouldn't count on everyone who offered, just because of scheduling conflicts) - also take into account the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, whenever that's happening!

Yeah I was thinking that's a reason to do it Thursday night instead of Friday.  No rehearsal but FILs want to have a "rehearsal dinner" sans rehearsal, which would be the night before.  I anticipate that will go late so we'll want to be finished before it's over.

I will have to really evaluate the time factor, for sure.  I would love to not have to deal with this stuff but it's a big financial savings.

JCbride2015

lolo883 said:

As a person who is completely unable to accept help and realizes the hypocrisy... let them help you. Seriously. I never offer something I'm not willing to follow through on, so they likely really meant it when they offered. Along the same lines though... I did 26 centerpieces in about 6 hours by myself. It can be done, and is not that difficult. Floral foam FTW. My BIL and H's aunt offered to deliver/set up and I had to let them help with that. Even though I tried to go around and rearrange every table myself.

Are you God?  Or... Beyonce?

theartistformerlyknownas

I did all my arrangements Friday morning (Saturday afternoon wedding). Left early afternoon to check into the hotel before going to the rehearsal dinner. Aunt picked them up Saturday morning. The actual flowers were delivered on Wednesday.

theartistformerlyknownas

JCbride2015 said:

lolo883 said:

As a person who is completely unable to accept help and realizes the hypocrisy... let them help you. Seriously. I never offer something I'm not willing to follow through on, so they likely really meant it when they offered.

Along the same lines though... I did 26 centerpieces in about 6 hours by myself. It can be done, and is not that difficult. Floral foam FTW. My BIL and H's aunt offered to deliver/set up and I had to let them help with that. Even though I tried to go around and rearrange every table myself.

Are you God?  Or... Beyonce?

LOL they're just really not that hard.

ohannabelle

Do them two days before, and keep them cool and watered. If you're buying wholesale, untrimmed flowers, don't even think about doing them in a hotel room. The mess is colossal. Huuuge. Mountains of leaves and stems.  Buckets everywhere. You need a large work table/area, and one compulsively tidy friend to clean up the excess. 

novella1186

If I were a BM, I'd be glad to help with something like this. Last time I was a BM I was sitting in my hotel room after the rehearsal dinner (by myself) putting together ALL the programs, which took forever and I was so tired, but I still didn't mind doing it because the bride still had tons of other things to do. So I was glad I could do something helpful for her.

My best advice would be to do a practice run (I'm huge on practicing stuff before-hand). Since you're the one buying the vases, take a vase and get the same type of flowers or similar flowers from the grocery store/farmers market/wherever. Put together a centerpiece exactly as you want it and see how long it takes and how easy or frustrating it is. Then you can also have a chance to fine-tune whatever materials you might need on hand. And you'll also be more equipped to instruct the helpers on the easiest way to put one together.

I bet you could do them Thursday night as long as they have plenty of water (duh) and if possible, keep them some place cool.

slothiegal

JCbride2015 said:

lolo883 said:

As a person who is completely unable to accept help and realizes the hypocrisy... let them help you. Seriously. I never offer something I'm not willing to follow through on, so they likely really meant it when they offered. Along the same lines though... I did 26 centerpieces in about 6 hours by myself. It can be done, and is not that difficult. Floral foam FTW. My BIL and H's aunt offered to deliver/set up and I had to let them help with that. Even though I tried to go around and rearrange every table myself.

Are you God?  Or... Beyonce?

Lolo is seen here, in the middle, saying that she don't think we can handle it.

JennyColada

JCbride2015 said:

I'm still waffling

Mmmm waffles.

JCbride2015

Trial run is a really good idea, thanks all who suggested it.  I can probably find some similar flowers at the grocery store and see how long it takes.  Then hey, flowers for the apartment the week before!

theartistformerlyknownas

slothiegal said:

JCbride2015 said:

lolo883 said:

As a person who is completely unable to accept help and realizes the hypocrisy... let them help you. Seriously. I never offer something I'm not willing to follow through on, so they likely really meant it when they offered.

Along the same lines though... I did 26 centerpieces in about 6 hours by myself. It can be done, and is not that difficult. Floral foam FTW. My BIL and H's aunt offered to deliver/set up and I had to let them help with that. Even though I tried to go around and rearrange every table myself.

Are you God?  Or... Beyonce?

Lolo is seen here, in the middle, saying that she don't think we can handle it.

How long have you been holding onto this gif, waiting for this opportunity? LOL

Ditto the trial run suggestion. I relied heavily upon that to know how many flowers to order and whether or not the end product would look like puked up warmed over shit.

larrygaga

Hey, they offered!!!! My sisters always buy bulk flowers for weddings/showers/whatever and then we all get together and get the vases done in an hour or so. We crack open a few wine bottles and it turns into fun lady chat time.  That's what I'm planning to do for my wedding, as well. It only takes a few hours for us with about 8 women. 

I will say again and I'm sure I will piss someone off (I always do), but if you have even one single creative bone in your body, flower arranging isn't that hard. It's really hard to make a flower ugly.

Like you would have to light it on fire.

Scratch that-fire is pretty.

theartistformerlyknownas

JCbride2015 said:

Trial run is a really good idea, thanks all who suggested it.  I can probably find some similar flowers at the grocery store and see how long it takes.  Then hey, flowers for the apartment the week before!

I would do the trial now, so you know in plenty of time to decide whether that's what you want to do, and to know how many to order. I ordered my flowers a few months out (to ensure they didn't sell out for my weekend) and would have ordered way too many if I hadn't done the trial.

JCbride2015

lolo883 said:

Trial run is a really good idea, thanks all who suggested it.  I can probably find some similar flowers at the grocery store and see how long it takes.  Then hey, flowers for the apartment the week before!

I would do the trial now, so you know in plenty of time to decide whether that's what you want to do, and to know how many to order. I ordered my flowers a few months out (to ensure they didn't sell out for my weekend) and would have ordered way too many if I hadn't done the trial.

Please continue raining your wisdom upon me, Lolo.

theartistformerlyknownas

JCbride2015 said:

lolo883 said:

JCbride2015 said:

Trial run is a really good idea, thanks all who suggested it.  I can probably find some similar flowers at the grocery store and see how long it takes.  Then hey, flowers for the apartment the week before!

I would do the trial now, so you know in plenty of time to decide whether that's what you want to do, and to know how many to order. I ordered my flowers a few months out (to ensure they didn't sell out for my weekend) and would have ordered way too many if I hadn't done the trial.

Please continue raining your wisdom upon me, Lolo.

Just make me a bridesmaid and I'll help.

JCbride2015

lolo883 said:

lolo883 said:

Trial run is a really good idea, thanks all who suggested it.  I can probably find some similar flowers at the grocery store and see how long it takes.  Then hey, flowers for the apartment the week before!

I would do the trial now, so you know in plenty of time to decide whether that's what you want to do, and to know how many to order. I ordered my flowers a few months out (to ensure they didn't sell out for my weekend) and would have ordered way too many if I hadn't done the trial.

Please continue raining your wisdom upon me, Lolo.

Just make me a bridesmaid and I'll help.

EVEN NUMBERS-- DONE!

larrygaga

http://www.bloomsbythebox.com/pub/bouquet-and-arrangement-flower-quantities.cfm

This thing might be helpful, I haven't tried it yet. I do remember using about 20 flowers for a very large, full vase.

Also, cut the stems at an angle. You probably know that. 

velvethelicopters

How fussy of arrangements are you going for? Really, they aren't terribly hard.

For FSIL wedding, flowers came in Tuesday, prep at home took the longest of anything really just from not enough room. Thursday, FMIL, sisters and I did the bouquets and "nice" parts and turned the guys loose on centerpieces. They knew to get 3 from green buckets, 5 from blue buckets and such. Centerpieces looked pretty and nice, but nothing close to uniform. 32 tables, so huge cost savings.

LadyMillil

With food and snacks I definitely wouldn't mind helping out with flowers. One of my BMs was on mat leave leading up to my wedding. She offered to help several times so I told her when I was planning to do DIY stuff and she helped out when she wanted/was able to and I made sure to have snacks and drinks. Ditto doing a demo. It's so much easier if you can give easy instructions to get the look you want, and having pictures helps a ton.

JCbride2015

Ladies.  I'm now fantasizing about what I could do with an extra $600 in our wedding budget.  Look at these invitations!  They only cost more than my wedding gown!

larrygaga

JCbride2015 said:

Ladies.  I'm now fantasizing about what I could do with an extra $600 in our wedding budget.  Look at these invitations!  They only cost more than my wedding gown!

I'm googling how to emboss invites at home ATM, actually! I'm doing my invites myself so it doesn't cost more than my dress, lol!

I was going to paint them but I'm a slow painter so I'm sure I would never get them done. 

Wegl13

FWIW, I bought my vases (big hurricane vases) from Old Time Pottery for $4/piece. I actually had a florist do my flowers (because I AM NOT creative at all, and I didn't want to f it up) but I bought my own vases so that people could take them home and I wouldn't have to worry about getting them back to the florist. Old Time Pottery is like the best place ever, it puts the craft stores to SHAME on shit like this.