Saturday- recap, vent, thoughts

Chipmunk415

I'm feeling accomplished without working out!

I rewatched my lecture, took my quiz, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, started laundry, and made princesses. DH went with me to the grocery store. We're meeting friends in a bit at a local pizza place for dinner, but I made an effort to blow dry and pretty up my hair, and put on makeup. I've also managed to relax and take cute photos of kitties. Go me.

But there's of course stuff bothering me. Dad had a CT scan yesterday (brief recap: Stage 2/early Stage 3 colo rectal cancer. He underwent chemo and radiation, finished in December). Results to be discussed next week with doctors, but apparently his chances are the same with or without surgery to remove the tissue- maybe 4 years, and he's leaning towards no surgery as it will likely significantly decrease quality of life. It's his decision, I respect it, but he's still my Daddy, and I can't help being sad and somewhat depressed about it.

We're still not hearing much of anything from FIL and SMIL. I'm certain SMIL has FIL's balls and spine in a box somewhere. True, bad shit was said on both sides between DH and SMIL relating to how things went down in aftermath of BIL's death, but seriously? Can't even call your son on Christmas? No follow up since? Asshole.

Finally, DH was holding me last night while I was dealing with coming to terms with Dad's likely choice. We started our future talking again, and he admitted wanting to start TTC by the Fall of this year. I want children, I do, but I want to wait a bit longer. Plus, I want us to be a little more financially secure before we start trying. We'll definitely hold off until I drop about 45-50 lbs to my correct, healthy weight (baby deserves a healthy momma and healthy pregnancy), but I'm a little scared at the idea of trying for a baby within the first 2 years of marriage. Afraid I won't be a good mother, and also afraid (selfishly) of how this might affect my legal career.

Just my thoughts and whatnot. Hope everyone's weekend is going well!

WinstonsGirl

Thoughts for your Dad.  It's so hard to start seeing our parents as getting old and sick.  And you'll make an amazing Mom.  As a teacher, I firmly believe that if parents are willing to try and put some effort into parenting, their kids will generally turn out well.  

I went for massage and chiro this morning.  My neck injury feels so much better, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to do anything tomorrow at practice.  And then we dropped off DH's car for repairs.  Power steering went out yesterday, but is working again today.  It's almost $2500 for fix everything, even though they think it's just a bad/broken seal.  They can't just replace the seal.  They have to replace the entire power steering thingy.  Fuck.  

Staff Christmas party tonight.  We're going bowling!!

AddieCake

I'm sorry about your dad. I exorcised some private demons today, bought new bedding, did some other shopping, and cleaned. I'm worn out and could easily go to bed right now.

slothiegal

Sending lots of love your way.  As my parents get older, I keep trying to prepare myself for the inevitable, but there's that part of me that is still a little girl that can't imagine a life without her mommy and daddy to lean on.

My Saturday has been blah so far.  H and I woke up, and I was grumpy as shit.  I was just exhausted for some reason.  I finally dragged myself out of bed and went for a run, which I'm glad I did.  Got home, took a shower, and fell back asleep with my robe still on.  H woke me up to say that his cousin wanted to go for a hike today....and I just could not muster the energy or enthusiasm for it.  He was super insistent about it ("It's such a nice day!  Let's not waste it!"), but I just....no.  

H finally went off, and now I'm watching my crime shows on Netflix, slooooowly folding laundry.  I don't know why, but this day has just felt all out of whack.  I want to take another nap, but that seems absolutely ridiculous.

I've got a raging case of the blahs.

NowIAmSyp

slothiegal said:

Sending lots of love your way.  As my parents get older, I keep trying to prepare myself for the inevitable, but there's that part of me that is still a little girl that can't imagine a life without her mommy and daddy to lean on.

My Saturday has been blah so far.  H and I woke up, and I was grumpy as shit.  I was just exhausted for some reason.  I finally dragged myself out of bed and went for a run, which I'm glad I did.  Got home, took a shower, and fell back asleep with my robe still on.  H woke me up to say that his cousin wanted to go for a hike today....and I just could not muster the energy or enthusiasm for it.  He was super insistent about it ("It's such a nice day!  Let's not waste it!"), but I just....no.  

H finally went off, and now I'm watching my crime shows on Netflix, slooooowly folding laundry.  I don't know why, but this day has just felt all out of whack.  I want to take another nap, but that seems absolutely ridiculous.

I've got a raging case of the blahs.

Not gonna lie- I've definitely had multiple-naps in one day before.  Sometimes you just need it!  Folding laundry is tough, you know!  

lyndausvi

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

I just came in from a ski lesson (2nd one)  I wasn't a fan.  First they put me on a level 3.  I felt I did the warm up just fine, middle of the pack, didn't fall.   Well I guess he didn't think so and I was dropped to a soft level 2.   WTF?  I was so annoyed because it was all easy stuff. I don't have the money  to spend to have another lesson.  Plus my instructor the last time said I was a soft level 3 and he would take me to the green runs.   Said instructor was put on higher level lessons. So I couldn't be in his class today,

So by lunch it was quite clear I was too "advanced" for this group and I was put with an instructor that only had one other person. Great, so we jump into a green run.   I did fine, listen and followed correctly.  The other girl, not so much, but it was all good.  Then after 2 times on that run we went to another harder run.  Fine, I feel good, following the instructor perfectly (unlike the other girl).   We ended up on a blue run, not big deal.  Went slow followed the instructor when all the sudden I was hit with a sugar low.  I had to stop or was going to pass out.   The instructor is too far down the hill and is yelling at me.   

Finally I get the strength to get down to her.  She rips into me for holding them up. Then it was if I felt bad I should not have started the run. I felt fine at the start,  it just came out of now where.  I explained I think I was having a sugar low and she rips into me for not having candy.     Now I do get sugar lows sometimes (2-3 times a year), but not often for me to remember to keep something in my pocket.  

Now this 70 year woman has stage 4 cancer.   Yes, stage 4 cancer.  I'm guessing me sugar low wasn't good enough excuse so that is why she was cranky.  I'm not sure, but it was clear there was no compassion coming from her. 

She eventually gives me a protein bar.   Finally I get to the bottom.  She did get nicer by the bottom. Said nice things about my technique, how I did a great job of following her unlike the other girl.  How I should move to big skis, what runs I should do next.   

But damn woman, why did you have to be so mean?  I'm embarrassed enough at the sugar low, yelling at me isn't going to help.

Things I learned today is never drink lemonade or bread at lunch while skiing and always carry a protein bar.  Lunch was chicken soup with bread, water and some lemonade.    I'm guessing between the bread and lemonade and all the carlories I was burning put me in the low.

missdelilah

I just wanted to send my love to you, @Chipmunk415.  It sounds like you have a ridiculous amount of stuff to deal with.  Having to face a parent's mortality is always horrible, but I'm glad for your father that he has such a supportive daughter.  It's likely what he needs most right now.  

Please don't feel selfish for thinking about your career.  In this world we've created where a family needs to incomes to survive, it's definitely something that needs to be taken in to consideration before children are planned.  I'm sure you'll be a great mother.  You're obviously compassionate and empathetic, and those are two of life's most important qualities, although they're generally underrated.  

I hope you find some time just for yourself.  Sending vibes that you win a holiday and can just go out with a best friend and pretend the real world doesn't exist for a few days.

Much love,

x

levieenrose

missdelilah said:

I just wanted to send my love to you, @Chipmunk415.  It sounds like you have a ridiculous amount of stuff to deal with.  Having to face a parent's mortality is always horrible, but I'm glad for your father that he has such a supportive daughter.  It's likely what he needs most right now.  

Please don't feel selfish for thinking about your career.  In this world we've created where a family needs to incomes to survive, it's definitely something that needs to be taken in to consideration before children are planned.  I'm sure you'll be a great mother.  You're obviously compassionate and empathetic, and those are two of life's most important qualities, although they're generally underrated.  

I hope you find some time just for yourself.  Sending vibes that you win a holiday and can just go out with a best friend and pretend the real world doesn't exist for a few days.

Much love,

x

All of this. Wishing you extra strength to find peace and grace in adversity as you move forward. 

flutteringinfl

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Hugs and cookies for you

FI had to work yesterday and today, so I've been amusing myself with GTA V. I feel like I need to hand in my feminist card, but it's so fun and immersive. The amount of detail that went into building the city is amazing, and I think the characters are pretty amusing. FI's been playing the online version and having fun with that in the evenings. We're trying to figure out what to do tomorrow because if we can't decide, we'll just end up staying home and playing video games. I'm also trying to get the place cleaned up a bit. Our bedroom in particular is a neglected wreck.