Hi All,
This is a little long even after trying to summarize the situation.
My FSIL, who is also one of my bridesmaids, has expressed that she is hurt and annoyed that I'm not including her in all of the 'bridesmaids' and other wedding activities.
I'm being pretty easy going with my bridesmaids and MOH. I understand that even though I'm having a wedding, it doesn't mean that everyone stops their lives. I certainly have other things going on that are NWR that I can't stop just because I'm planning a wedding. With that said, as much as I enjoy times where all of us can be together, there are also times where I like being with each of my bridesmaids individually, because I have a different, special relationship with each of them.
I had a fairly menial task to do last week, which I told all of my bridesmaids about but didn't require anyone to do. Most of them declined because it ended up being on Easter weekend. My MOH was going to come but the day before, she had to cancel because her father got a job reassignment out of the country and she wanted to say goodbye. One of my other bridesmaids said that she would love to help and hang out and ended up coming over the Saturday before Easter. My FSIL was one of two bridesmaids that didn't answer.
So Saturday comes, my bridesmaid comes over and we have a great time together, talking while we're finishing up this task. At the end, we went out in the neighborhood and I treated her to dinner as a thank you before she went home. She "checked in" on Facebook with me at the restaurant but only said we were having a good time over dinner.
The next day at Easter, my FSIL pulled me aside and said that she "was hurt because she felt that this was something all of the bridesmaids should have done together and I shouldn't call out one bridesmaid over another because we are all in this together and it would make everyone feel bad." Okay, I never once said that my other bridesmaid is awesome because she helped out. Anyway, she said that I really should hold off on any bridesmaids tasks until EVERYONE is available.
I have 7 bridesmaids including my MOH. Everyone has demanding work schedules and personal schedules, including me. My MOH also just told me she is pregnant, for which I'm really happy for her. But when she told me, I already knew, this puts her at a hardship to attend everything wedding related. So, not everyone can attend everything. There are times where I just need things done and I can't wait for everyone and can just do it myself. So far, I have always said that I have so and so tasks to do, but I don't put expectations that everyone has to help me out all the time.
My FSIL already has the task of coordinating all of the hotel stuff and she is helping my MOH plan the bachelorette party and bridal shower immensely, and I always let her know I'm appreciative for it. So I'm not understanding what her problem is.
Any thoughts?
Thanks.