Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Lost my dad to cancer.... how to keep his memory at wedding

I lost my dad to cancer a year ago. I am getting married next summer. Any ideas on who should walk me down the aisle? And the father/daughter dance? He didn't have any friends who could and his family isn't the closest to us. I told my mom she could walk me down the aisle but she thinks my little brother should, I don't know if he will want that or be able to do it.

 I want to keep the memory of my father there because I know he will be there in spirit. Any ideas are welcome. Thanks!

Re: Lost my dad to cancer.... how to keep his memory at wedding

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    I like the idea of your brother doing it.  Or you could have a grandfather or uncle, or you could walk yourself.  Your mom can also do it.  You don't have to have a father/daughter dance.  You can skip it, or dance with the same person you choose to walk you down the aisle.  Or your mom. 

    As far as remeberance goes, there are many options.  Most will tell you to do something small so that your guests won't feel uncomfortable and their still is a "happy" vibe to your wedding.  I lost my mom a few years ago and plan to leave a rose on the chair she would have sat it at the ceremony.  I also will have a mention in the program and a prayer during the service.  You can have a memorial candle, or a picture of your dad at the ceremony/reception.  Hope this helps!  Good luck!
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    I think the idea of your mother is great.  Are there any cousins in the picture you would feel comfortable walking you down the aisle.

    I lost my mother a few years ago to cancer and have been thinking about ways to honor her at the wedding.  One thing I am going to is sew a piece of her wedding dress inside mine.  I was also thinking about displaying a picture from her wedding somewhere.  I absolutley love the idea of leaving a rose on the chair.  I had not thought about that yet.  thank you for sharing!

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    I love these- someone posted that they had gotten one for their wedding, with a photo of thier uncle, and I thought it was great-[]=tags&includes[]=title

    there are more styles out there

    and tie it to your bouquet.

    If your dad would have been the one to walk you up the aisle, I'd personally walk alone, imagining he's right next to me... and I'd dance with my mom.

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    I have always seen it where the mother walked the bride down the aisle and did a mother daughter dance as well.

    I don't think your little brother would be appropriate. How could he give you away? He is your little brother.
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    I can't help much with the Dad side of things, but I lost my Mom about 2 months ago and our wedding is in 6 months. I plan on having a vase etched with her favorite Bible verse holding her favorite flowers (yellow roses) on a table at the front of the ceremony site. I'm also doing little things like I have a hair clip of hers from when she was a girl that I'll wear in my hair and I have her wedding dress and I'll put it on a mannequin with a picture of my parents wedding at the reception. (I also love the previous poster's idea of a rose on her seat...more personal). I've seen people carry roses in honor of those who aren't with you that day, light candles in memory etc.

    Personally - if my Dad wasn't there to walk me down the isle I would choose either an uncle or brother that doesn't have children to give them the opportunity or I'd do as the previous poster said and imagine him right there beside you.

    Best of luck to you, and no matter what you do - he is there with you in spirit. I'm sure you will honor him and no doubt remember (and feel) his precence on such an important day to you and your future.
    Beka Lou
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    I had a bracelet made in remembrance of my uncle and I love that it's discreet but he'll still be with me.
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    I had a friend whose dad had prostate cancer (but he survived) and for the favors she  just did a little bag of chocolate covered pretzels and a tag that said in leau of traditional favors, they made a donation to the cancer foundation in the name of her father and all those who it took or something like that. It was really sweet.
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    I lost mine as well.  I am having my brother walk me down the aisle. He was so honored when I asked him.  We are having the wedding on the day my pops passed. It will be like having him there.  There was nothing more that he wanted to see happen for me. I have a table of family members past wedding photos and there will be a vase of yellow roses(his favorite too) along side his pic. 
    Absolutely no father daughter dance. I can barely sit and watch someone else doing this these days. I tend to leave the room. As part of our edible favors at the candy bar - I will have black jack gum which reminds me of him.  And I will have a photo locket of him on my bouquet.  For the most part no one will  be aware of these gestures except my mom and myself.

    photo c603d655-594e-44b6-a311-72f04e7a561b_zpscca2447c.jpg My Little Sweetheart Follow Me on Pinterest
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    The same thing happened to a very good friend of mine. She was walked down the isle by her brother (her mother has a hard time and walks w/ a cane most times) but for the "father daughter dance" she danced w/ her mom. It really was beautiful.
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    I lost my mother to cancer 2 and a half years ago, and wedding planning has been extra emotional for me.  My fiance has been very vocal about making sure she is included in our ceremony, so we have a few touches dedicated to her. 

    During the seating of the mothers, my sister will be escorted into the church carrying a small bouquet of Mom's favorite flowers, which she will place on the seat where Mom would be sitting.  At the front of the church, on the communion table, we will have a picture of my parents on their wedding day and a large pillar candle.  When my father and I reach the altar and before he gives me away, Dad and I will light the candle for her.  I have the lace from her dress wrapped around my bouquet and a picture of her pinned to the wrap.  We also included a mention in our ceremony program. 

    Remember that as long as your father is in your heart and in your memories, he is with you and that he is proud of you, and he loves you.  Good luck with your wedding, sweetie, and be blessed!
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    I don't feel like reading the long paragraphs everyone else wrote, but please PLEASE don't leave an empty chair.  I went to a wedding 3 weeks ago where the grooms father had passed last November.  They did not leave an empty chair, they made a nice bouquet for the guest book table and said something in the program like "the arrangement on the guest book table is in memory of "john's" father, and those who cannot be with us today".  I think the empty chair and the speeches and such can be a real 'in your face' fact that the person is not there.  Besides, wouldn't your mom prefer to sit close to someone else rather than next to an empty chair and an even more harsh reminder that your father is not there?

    As for who will walk you down, that's a decision only you can make.  And if you aren't comfortable with the dances, skip them!
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