Do I need to ask my father to walk me?

Knottie1437102664

Hello all!

Here's the story, I didn't know my father until I was 18. Now I'm 33 and while we're not super close, we do spend time together. I was originally planning on having my twin boys (I gave them up for an open adoption when I was very young) walk me down the aisle. But my father has offered to pay $5,000 towards my wedding. I feel as though if he is contributing that kind of money, I need to ask if he would like to be the one to walk me....but I'd really my twins to do it. What's the etiquette here?

What I am thinking, is simple asking him if there is a special way he would like to be honored at the wedding and see what he says and go from there. But again, I'd really like it to be my boys.... 

aliwis000

You have already answered your own question. Your boys should walk you down.

Nobody can "buy" to walk to down the aisle. It seems like he has not asked for this either.

Money always comes with strings but in my mind this is not a type of thing anyone, no matter how much money they give you, can dictate. If you think he might pull his money if he does not get to walk you then he is a butt head and you will have to prepare for that I suppose. But again I did not see anywhere that he has hinted at this. I would not ask him if you are not 100% prepared for him to say yes. I mean at that point its your own fault, you asked, he accepted. Do not mention this to him, you have already made your mind up and its a perfectly valid choice.

kvruns

Your boys walking you is fine. You shouldn't feel obligated to have your dad do it just bc he offered money

Maggie0829

Have your boys walk you down the aisle and, if you are having dancing, then do a nice dance with your Dad.

Just because your Dad is contributing to your wedding doesn't mean that he now has the right to walk you down your aisle.  It doesn't even seem that is something that even crossed his mind when he gave you the money.  Stick with your original plan.

Jen4948

Paying for any part of the wedding doesn't entitle your dad to walk you down the aisle.  If you think your twin sons are the people who should escort you, then they are the ones who should escort you.

If you're worried that he'll pull the financial contribution if you tell him that he's not going to walk you down the aisle, then you already know that your twins are the right people to do it.  But I'd be prepared for your dad to do that and exclude his contribution from your budget.

Maggie0829

OP did your Dad give any indication to you that he will pull the funding if you don't ask him to walk you down the aisle?

SP29

You can walk down the aisle with anyone- and that is regardless of who pays. This is a situation where this is entirely a personal choice.

Have your boys walk you down

Knottie1437102664

Thank you for the feedback! I'm not concerned about him pulling his offer; I don't think he would do that. I just wasn't sure about the etiquette, and if it's expected that I ask him. It sounds like it isn't, so I think I will tell him that I would like to honor him by doing a father-daughter dance. 

Thank you so much!

hashtag43016

I honestly had the same situation. I was dead set on walking myself down the aisle, and then my dad said he wanted to contribute (we'll see if he actually does) and I felt bad and started to consider letting him walk me down. But then I realized, I made my choice for a reason and I'm going to stick to it! I'll do a dance with my dad and that can be his special moment with me. But I'm walking myself down. Have your twins walk you down so when you look back on this moment, you'll remember that amazing feeling. Rather than the feeling, "he's only walking me down because he contributed".