Etiquette

Dad's long time girlfriend

Getting married in January and not sure how to acknowledge my dad's girlfriend. Obviously my mom will have a corsage. My question is do I provide a corsage for my dad's long time girlfriend? Does she also get escorted down during the mom's song? They been together for roughly 20 years.

Thanks for your opinions on this one!

Re: Dad's long time girlfriend

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    I would definitely get her a corsage.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Heffalumplc07
  • I would. They sound very much established.
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
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    edited August 2015
    I would give her a corsage. As far as if she is seated ahead if time or escorted down the aisle during the mother's song or processional is totally up to you.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    Find out first what your dad wants to do.

    A corsage, if you're doing them, would be nice.
  • Totally a personal choice. If it were me and I had a good relationship with her, I'd give her a corsage for sure. It'd depend on our relationship whether I'd have her as part of the processional. 

    Basically, it boils down to your relationship with her and your personal choice. The only etiquette thing to consider is that she should be invited and be seated with your dad.
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  • AddieCake said:
    Moments like these I miss NYUGirl. I always look for her to pop in with something along the lines of, "No. She probably broke up their marriage and therefore should not get anything even remotely resembling acknowledgement." Good times.
    LOL, ah yes... NYUgirl. I remember the day she got banned after totally flying off the handle and being super insulting about your stepmom.

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    Everyone was like "you're out of line" and she just kept on... Definitely good times.
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    AddieCakeMairePoppy
  • I have the same situation, FI's dad and his girlfriend have been together about 13 years.  I'm getting her a corsage just like I am for his mom (and no the girlfriend wasn't the reason for the breakup LOL).  I don't think she'll be escorted down by anybody... just sit down like the rest of his family.  
    Married 9.12.15
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    edited August 2015
    AddieCake said:
    Moments like these I miss NYUGirl. I always look for her to pop in with something along the lines of, "No. She probably broke up their marriage and therefore should not get anything even remotely resembling acknowledgement." Good times.
    I totally forgot about her.    LOL.   She did have it out for new GF and wives.  Even if they had NOTHING to do with the breakup.    Remember the poster whose father had a new GF 10 years after her parent's divorced.  Yep, that new GF was a whore in her mind.


    Anyway OP, I would give her a corsage.   As far as walking down with the moms.  That is up to you.     If your dad is not escorting her down then they can walk down together.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    AddieCake
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    @southernbelle0915 I know! I was all, "Did I just get NYU banned?! I have won the internet!"

    Sorry for going off-topic, OP. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    southernbelle0915lyndausviOliveOilsMomMairePoppy
  • @AddieCake - you did win the internet that day. You stayed 100% chill with her while she just continued to flip out over dress color. 

    She also flipped her lid over me having open seating one time. Something about how I probably blew it in properly handling the napkin and plate situation...lol! Super odd behavior, that one....

    I am also sorry for derailing, OP. I'm sure you'll find what feels right for your situation.
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    AddieCake
  • littlepeplittlepep South Carolina
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    I got my dad's girlfriend a corsage, but she was not escorted. She just was already seated where my dad would be after we walked down. 
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  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN)
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    As PP have said, it definitely depends on your relationship with her.

    I would get her something. We did wrist corsages for the Moms and label corsages for the Grandmas. I would probably include her in the lapel corsages unless you think of her as another mother. And I probably would just have your Moms walk down to the song. But see what your Dad and his GF prefer.
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  • SP29SP29
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    As said, the only etiquette requirement is that she be invited and seated with your dad.

    Everything else is a personal choice, depending on your relationship with her.

    A corsage would be a nice gesture. Unless you are very close with her, I would have her sit (up at the front, where your dad will be) when all the other guests sit, and your dad can process with you (if that's what you are doing) and sit beside her.

    Both my parents have SOs they are not married to. The SOs were seated in the front row, where my parents would be when they walked in as part of the processional. I didn't get my dad's GF a corsage, but I didn't know her very well then, now would be different.
  • My dad also has a long time gf (too long perhaps, as she actually did have a little something to do with the split...whoops!), and I am getting her a corsage. I'm not really close with her, but she's nice enough. Plus, I love my mom's bf and really wanted to get him a bout, but didn't want to be unfair about it. I think I'll just have my parents' SOs already seated when parents are escorted.

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  • Great!  I appreciate everyone's advice on this subject.  I have talked to my mom about this and she also agrees with most everyone here (which is what I was already thinking but wanted to reach out to the community).  She was not the reason for my parent's divorce and I do like her.  My parents get along great and mom thought it would be very nice to provide her with a corsage as well.  Since my dad and step-dad both "gave me away" the first time, I'm not going that route the 2nd time.  I'll have dad and his GF already seated and just have my mom and future MIL escorted down.

    Erikan73drunkenwitch
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
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    Great!  I appreciate everyone's advice on this subject.  I have talked to my mom about this and she also agrees with most everyone here (which is what I was already thinking but wanted to reach out to the community).  She was not the reason for my parent's divorce and I do like her.  My parents get along great and mom thought it would be very nice to provide her with a corsage as well.  Since my dad and step-dad both "gave me away" the first time, I'm not going that route the 2nd time.  I'll have dad and his GF already seated and just have my mom and future MIL escorted down.

    Why wouldn't your farther be part of the parents processional? If you aren't having your dad walk you down the aisle, I assume you are walking alone. In that case I would have dad walk in with his GF. Mom escorted by Step Dad. And MIL escorted in by FIL, or whomever. But I wouldn't exclude your dad grin the processional IMHO.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • My adult son will be escorting me this time around as well as my mom. His sons will escort their grandmother. His dad has COPD and will be seated in advance so he isn't out of breath during the ceremony.

    I'll also consult my wedding planner on this as well. I'm trying to get a jump on planning.

    Thank you for your input as you do bring up good points.
  • Good thoughts.

    Ok, what is the exact purpose of the processional, and thus who should it include?

    In ours, DH escorted his mother, when he came in. My brothers escorted my mom. My dad escorted me. WP was in there too.

    My parents SOs were already seated at the front. My grandparents and DH's grandmother were seated at the front already. DH's siblings were all seated in the family rows, but before the processional. DH's dad was also seated before the processional.

    Should we have included DH's dad?
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
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    SP29 said:

    Good thoughts.


    Ok, what is the exact purpose of the processional, and thus who should it include?

    In ours, DH escorted his mother, when he came in. My brothers escorted my mom. My dad escorted me. WP was in there too.

    My parents SOs were already seated at the front. My grandparents and DH's grandmother were seated at the front already. DH's siblings were all seated in the family rows, but before the processional. DH's dad was also seated before the processional.

    Should we have included DH's dad?
    I would have. It suggests the moms are more important than the fog since he did not process in. Typically I have seen the mog escorted in by a GM and fog following them or fog escorting mog. Unless you have a reason, I would include all parents in the processional.

    Step parents and SO are more of a your call, for me.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Maggie0829
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    SP29 said:
    Good thoughts.

    Ok, what is the exact purpose of the processional, and thus who should it include?

    In ours, DH escorted his mother, when he came in. My brothers escorted my mom. My dad escorted me. WP was in there too.

    My parents SOs were already seated at the front. My grandparents and DH's grandmother were seated at the front already. DH's siblings were all seated in the family rows, but before the processional. DH's dad was also seated before the processional.

    Should we have included DH's dad?
    I have found FOG are always after-toughts.   MOB are well, MOBs.   FOB often escort the bride.   MOG is well a mom.  FOG they just don't often get any attention   :(      

    Although I have heard of FOG being BM a few times.

    DH's dad is MIA, so it wasn't an issue.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs
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    My sister's husband only has a dad, so he walked down the aisle with my brother in law. In all the weddings I've been to, if the FOG was in attendance he escorted his wife ( either MOG or SMOG). My sisyer's wedding is the only one I can think of that didn't have a MOG or SMOG. I've also seen the dads escort the grandmas if there is no grandfather.
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