Wedding Woes

one of those other 4 men

DEAR AMY: I am a woman in my 40s who was married twice. Both husbands were abusive.

I have done a lot of work in overcoming these relationships, which included not dating anyone for more than five years. Then I met him.

It was a sexual relationship, and he awakened me in many other ways I had never experienced before.

It was clear from the beginning that he didn't want a commitment, but over time he would act and talk as if we had a commitment.

Then I learned of his other life. This includes an ex-wife and a child he lives with. He told me he is married to another woman to help her acquire citizenship. He spends time with other lovers. I was devastated.

I decided to say goodbye. After some time, he claimed to have missed me. I went back twice and asked him to make a choice. He didn't choose me, but we carried on our affair. I then learned that he gave me herpes despite practicing safe sex. He has decided that we cannot talk anymore. Should I confront him again?

I have tried and have met other men, but I either find them quite boring (i.e., safe) or find myself comparing them to the past.

Lonely in New York

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Re: one of those other 4 men

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