Dear Prudence,
I am a professional married woman in my late 30s with small children. My husband and I met when we were in the same prestigious grad school program. I had better grades, internship experiences, and references, and had great job prospects out of school, while he struggled to get an offer. I joined my dream company with his encouragement, and he took a fairly low-paid job on the other side of the country while looking for better prospects. Finally, after several years, I managed to get him a spot at my company. Fast-forward 10 years, and his career has taken off while mine has stagnated. We’re both still at the same company and started at similar positions, but he has been promoted two levels above me and has gotten lots of recognition for his work. From my perspective, it looks like he really just got lucky—he was in the right place at the right time and frankly doesn’t work that hard. I know that I should celebrate his successes, but the competitive side of me can’t help but feel bitter and resentful, and like a failure by comparison. How can I move past this and stop feeling like I need to compete professionally with my husband? We otherwise have a great relationship and I try to hide my resentment, but it’s getting harder all the time.