Dear Prudence,
My mother is the only person in my family who knows I’m gay. She has cautioned me against telling my brother, saying that she doesn’t think he will be very accepting. This was news to me; my brother and I were not close growing up and have only started to recently reconnect as adults. I would like to tell him, but my mom’s warning has me worried. If my brother reacts poorly, it could jeopardize the relationship I have with my baby niece. I’ve thought about testing the waters by telling him about a friend of ours who has come out in the last year, in order to see what his reaction is. This friend has given me her blessing to do this. But my mother is against this, saying it’s cowardly to rely on my friend as a crutch. My mom is underestimating the level of stress this secret has placed on my shoulders, but is she right about this? Obviously it would be wrong if my friend hadn’t given me express permission.