Wedding Woes

4 men...

Dear Prudence, 
My husband and I dated for five and a half years before getting married this past November. We decided to wait until marriage to have sex, which was mostly something that my husband insisted on. I’ve had sex in previous relationships and now I am realizing that sex with my husband is not at all enjoyable for me. I’ve tried discussing this with him but he gets offended and claims he “sees nothing wrong” with our sex life as it is. I have no idea what to do from here. I can’t go the rest of my life like this. What steps should I take next?

—Sexless

Re: 4 men...

  • If your wife says there's a problem with your sex life, then there is a problem whether you think there is or not.  I'd recommend therapy, but I'm not super optimistic.  Also, since she didn't mention a religious or philosophical reason for waiting, I wonder what the husband's motivation was.  I'd think he was hiding something, either fears, past performances/issues.  This just really doesn't bode well.
    MesmrEwe
  • I find it funny...though in a sad way...that the letter writer's H says there's "nothing wrong".  As if sex is something that doesn't happen between two people.  Ummm...dude...if your partner is trying to talk to you about what is wrong than, by definition, something's wrong.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MesmrEwe
  • i wonder if he's gay.
    MesmrEwe
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2016

    There are stores that sell "instruction manual DVD's" that she needs to use it as a covert instruction manual for "let's try this!" for what she wants... 

    I'm wondering if he is involved in one of those religions where the woman is only there to please him so he sees nothing wrong with it because of a cultural thing (yes, in 2016 there are still cultures that women are objects/property)...  This is also why premarital counseling is important because taboo topics like this get discussed and strategies for how to resolve issues in differences taught especially when a lack of experience is involved!

    Yea - I suspect their marriage "isn't headed for a happy ending" if he's not willing to do a little "practice makes perfect"...

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