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Wedding Woes

Should I have a child with my ex-wife?

Dear Prudence, 
My ex-wife and I divorced three years ago (for various reasons, mostly because we were not very physically attracted to each other). We still get along really well, share values, and are good co-parents to our 5-year-old daughter. Neither of us is in a long-term relationship, but we both want a second child, and we want our daughter to have a sibling. I consider her to be a great mom, and she thinks I'm a great dad. Would it be weird to have a kid together now (either through insemination or the regular way)?

–Parent Trap

Re: Should I have a child with my ex-wife?

  • Weird - yes...  Out of the ordinary - not really when you REALLY think about it...  The key being they both have a custody and financial agreement worked out ahead of time...

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    Haha. This is weird, yes, but not THAT weird, I think.

    My parents weren't divorced yet, but this is kind of how I exist. My parents had two kids and were going to get a divorce. My mom had always wanted a ton of kids and was upset that she'd only have the two. So she got pregnant again before she kicked my dad out. I never believed her because who would want to be a poor single mother of three, instead of the two, but knowing her, it made sense. She was kinda crazy.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Since they are friendly with each other, it should be fine as long as they work out the details first, like MesmerEwe said.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I guess this is an UO here, but as a child of divorce, I think kids do better when their parents are in a loving marriage together.  I wouldn't intentionally have a child with my EX, but I guess that's me.  

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    holyguacamole79
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I couldn't do it, either.   I broke up with my exes for a reason.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but I do think it might be confusing for the other child. Are mom and dad together or not?

    Overall though, sounds like the ex-couple have a good relationship. I am a child of divorce of parents who maintained a good relationship and I think us kids did better with my parents apart than married and unhappy.
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2016
    SP29 said:
    It's not the craziest thing I've ever heard, but I do think it might be confusing for the other child. Are mom and dad together or not?

    Overall though, sounds like the ex-couple have a good relationship. I am a child of divorce of parents who maintained a good relationship and I think us kids did better with my parents apart than married and unhappy.
    I think this is true in many cases--and I'm definitely not saying that it's always wrong to divorce or anything.  And you're right, some couples are able to do really well co-parenting even though they're divorced.  My point was just that I wouldn't purposefully bring a new child into that situation.  Even if the parents get along great and share custody, the child doesn't get to see both parents every day.

    I think the primary question before having another child should be "is this the best situation for a child?" not "do I want another child?"

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    Casadenascrunchythiefshort+sassy
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