Wedding Woes

No is a word, right?

Dear Prudence,
I work at a rewarding job with limited vacation time and make about half of what my sister and mother do (this will be relevant, I promise). I pay all my bills, but funds are limited for trips. Usually as a combined birthday/Christmas gift my family will help defray the cost of airfare or hotel to travel together. Now my sister is buying her first home, and my mother had to get a new car. The getaway is a no-go this year. I don’t mind that, but I do mind my sister’s assumption that I’d be happy to use my vacation to drive 300 miles to help paint and retile her new house! I love her and understand that buying a new home is stressful, but she gets six weeks of paid vacation, and I only get two! Should I bring it up, bite the bullet, or pretend to have a scheduling snafu?

—No Time Off

Re: No is a word, right?

  • Why use time off, why not go on a weekend or two like Memorial Day/Labor Day/4th of July...

  • We ended up closing on our home a few days before my sisters pre-planned trip home a couple of summers ago.  We just took a few days off of painting to hang with her.  I don't blame her for not wanting to spend her time off in free labor for someone else!
  • Sorry not sorry.  FH's brother asked him to travel across five state lines to help him rip up the deck that came with their house.  FH said "No, I love you, but I am not going to waste my vacation doing manual labor."

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • "I won't be coming - I have other plans for my vacation time."
  • I drove 300 miles to help FSIL paint her kids' play room but 1) I offered. 2) I wanted to see her anyways 3) it only took one day out of the weekend to do.

    No reason why she should waste vacation time working unless she wants to.
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