Wedding Woes

I went from co-worker to head one wants to play with me now.

Dear Prudence,
I work for a small division of a much larger company. We are physically separated from most of the company, so we’ve created our own little familylike culture—one that’s never felt very corporate. After my first year in a dream job, I was promoted to team lead. A year after, I was promoted to manager, and within two more years I achieved the title of director of my division. My family of co-workers was excited and encouraging of my quick ascension up the ranks, and many of them put my name in the running for each promotion! Where I’m struggling is how distant they’ve all become. They still smile and say hello, but I’m no longer invited to lunches, potlucks, or celebrations like birthdays or baby showers. My superior tells me this is life now and I’ll never get that back—that I’m to focus on the good I’m doing in my position and be thankful my division performs well above benchmarks. Do I really have to give up people for a position?

—Lonely at the Top

Re: I went from co-worker to head one wants to play with me now.

  • Sounds like Margaret Houlihan from MASH...  It is what she makes it, but there's also the degree of professional separation. Who's to say no one else wanted those jobs so they suggested her for the promotion...

    What really hurts/sucks is when you've built what you thought were personal relationships only to find the others were doing it only for their own career enhancement and not actually friends...

  • Unfortunately, this is life. Her supervisor is right, she's no longer one of the family, she's in charge of it. She should work on making connections with other managers at her level and finding a community outside of work.
  • There's also such a thing as "appearance of impropriety."  Even if LW doesn't understand that, it's rarely a good thing for senior management to be seen being overly friendly with their employees.

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • I did too, @thefanciestbeckler. I wouldn't play with a cheesehead either.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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