Any suggestions on how to tell my mother that I do not want her at my wedding? She has been a mean and manipulative alcoholic my entire life. I finally stopped talking to her about two years ago after she caused serious legal troubles for my sister. Around the same time, I graduated with my master’s degree, and she didn’t show up to the ceremony because she was too busy at an AA meeting. She emails me once in a while to say she loves me, and it breaks my heart, but I don’t want to risk inviting her and have her not show up, or show up and get drunk and vicious. She has never been able to act right at major functions. She has not given me any reason to believe that she has gotten sober and stayed sober. Please help! I haven’t even told her that I’m engaged.
—Estranged and Happy