I became friends with “Jack” a few years ago, and we became very close (I am female). Two years ago, I was invited on a camping trip with him, his girlfriend, and a number of their friends I’d never met before. When I got to the campsite, I met the guy I was to share a tent with (“Steve’”). Shortly after being introduced, Steve made some very uncomfortable jokes at my expense, made a pass at me, and then, when I rebuffed him, told me he would “rape me in my sleep that night.” I refused to share a tent with him after that, and so I slept with Jack’s girlfriend in their tent, and Jack shared with Steve. A few days later, Jack told me that he had been trying to set me and Steve up, and that he felt I was rude for rejecting Steve and thought I should have just “taken one for the team” instead of splitting him and his girlfriend up for the night. Our friendship was never the same after that interaction, and we grew apart.
Now I have moved to the other side of the country and lost touch with Jack completely. I received a message from Jack the other day saying that he would by traveling to my city and wanted to know if I’d like to meet up. I do miss his friendship, but I am still upset over what happened at the camping trip. Was it unreasonable of me to distance myself from Steve that weekend? Should I meet up with Jack and explain why that episode (and his reaction to it) was so upsetting? Or should I just ignore the message and let our friendship go completely?
—Old Friend Wants In