Invites and Paper

When to Send Out Invites?

I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this than I need to, but we're debating on when we should send out the wedding invitations.  Our wedding is February 4, so based on the traditional etiquette, we should be sending these in December.  However, with it being holiday time, I'm worried about them getting mixed in the shuffle of holiday cards/party invitations and/or lost in the mail with the increase in mail traffic at that time of the year.  Would it be prudent to mail them out a little earlier than what is typical, say prior to Thanksgiving?  Or would this be too early and we run the risk of people putting the invitation off to the side and forgetting to RSVP?  Thanks!

Re: When to Send Out Invites?

  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    That's a really good question. I'm curious about that one myself because we're getting married on September 10, towards the end of summer.
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I wouldn't send them out at Thanksgiving - people will put them aside and forget about them. I would send them out just before Christmas, the usual 6-8 weeks. @OurWildKingdom I would follow the normal rules 6-8 weeks. My daughter was married on Sept. 5th and we sent them out 8 weeks ahead. We had no problems (other than the post office losing 2 of the invites). 
    OurWildKingdom
  • KShizKShiz
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    If you sent them out at the 6 week mark, that'll be Christmas eve. Theoretically, most of the holiday cards will have been sent & received by that time. So "maybe" that would be a good time?  

    If you pushed it to 8 weeks, that's right in prime holiday card mailing season, so there will be more mail to contend with. 

    If you sent them just before thanksgiving, it would only be 2.5 weeks "early" and I doubt anyone will be opening it with a calendar in hand to make absolutely sure the date falls within the 6-8 week range.

    If earlier would make you more comfortable, I'd do that and not waste brain space over 2.5 weeks.
  • I ditched invite etiquette and don't regret it a bit! I know I'm out voted, but I say don't stress and send them earlier if it makes you feel better. Maybe end of October, so they arrive early/mid November?

    Our RSVP date was almost 3 months before the wedding for several truly important reasons, including being a destination wedding. A friend of mine did this too, so I'm not alone. As expected, we had lots of last minute (or 1-2 weeks late) RSVPs, but no other issues came from sending an early RSVP request. In fact, I'm getting the venue I wanted (and saving $$$), because our yes count was low enough for the more intimate venue.

    Bottom line, it's your wedding. Do what makes it easiest and less stressful for you. I wish I took that advice months ago.
    KShizKnottie1452098987
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited June 2016
    In my circle, wedding invitations go out 8 to 10 weeks before the wedding. I'd  send them  the first week of December. I'd also choose a design that stands out from the holiday motifs. If you send them before Thanksgiving, three major holidays will occur before your wedding. That ups the risk of them getting lost in the shuffle. 

    I see that each of us has given you a different time frame. Glad we could help :)
                
    CMGragainmadamerwin
  • I was married on Feb 7th, so I know the fear. We sent them out 10 weeks before the wedding, since the 8 week mark was on Christmas week. A few invites did get lost (two, I think) and one was completely mangled, but I think that is inevitable regardless of when they are sent - holidays or not. 

    They honestly won't get lost in the holiday mail your guests receive. Most people open all the Christmas/holiday cards and will be extra delighted that it's a wedding invite for something different! Though, if possible, I would try to get stamps that aren't holiday themed in advance. Little things like that can help your mail stand out as a "not Holiday mail" item.

    We had an RSVP date of one month prior to the wedding. That gave me about a week of waiting for the slow rsvp-ers, and a week to follow-up with those that didn't respond at all (and DO follow up with those that don't respond, don't assume they are coming or not coming. My cousin had no idea she was invited to the wedding until I called her!) and then numbers were due to the caterer 2 weeks prior.
  • SP29SP29
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    My personal thoughts are that as long as you aren't moving up your RSVP date as well, it isn't rude to send an invitation a bit earlier. The biggest issue is the guest putting the invitation "away" somewhere and then forgetting about it (and not RSVPing).

    I would send your invites a bit earlier, say 10 weeks.

    I have sent mail around Christmas time and it has arrived late. I once sent a package a few days before Christmas that was supposed to arrive prior to New Years and it showed up 2 weeks after that.
    MairePoppy
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