Wedding Woes

Dead stepson. Lots of messy emotions.

Dear Prudence,
My stepson died last month and all I can feel is relief. I have watched him destroy himself for over 15 years and do his best to do the same to my family. He lied so much I think his mouth forgot the taste of truth and it killed a little more of his mother every time. We tried counseling, rehab, prayer, but nothing stuck. Then he struck his younger sister when she took his keys away to keep him from driving drunk. I threw him out that night and never saw him again. My wife is devastated, her son has died, and I feel guilty about my relief. My stepdaughter has confided in me that she feels glad that he is dead, that sometimes she thinks her mother loved him more than her, and worries that makes her a bad person. I don’t know what steps to take—I think counseling but I know nothing good can come from sharing these truths. My wife is as fragile as glass and my stepdaughter has a scar over her eyebrow where her brother hit her. How do you move on from here?

—Relieved

Re: Dead stepson. Lots of messy emotions.

  • The Mom lost her baby - there is going to be broken glass feelings!  Whatever the cause, he was still her baby.  OTOH, the question is whether or not the Mom has ever attended meetings for families of addicts and really process.  Not sure if counseling all around is the way to go but absolutely someone who specializes in working with family members of addicts. 
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