Wedding Woes

Bean dip your damn sister

Dear Prudence,
I’ve never been very close with my father. As a child, he would constantly spank me to punish me for minor offenses, and that made me fear him. I have also always hated the way he treats my mother. I have very little contact with him as a result. I am getting married this year and have decided to walk down the aisle alone. Even if I had a close relationship with my father, I think I would still feel uncomfortable with the idea of him walking me down the aisle because I find the tradition sexist. When my sister got married last year, she had our dad walk her down the aisle. Since I told her my plans for my wedding, she has been texting me about how not having my dad walk me will break his heart and how I should consider having both parents walk me. I am so frustrated; it’s my wedding but I also don’t want to cause a family argument. Should I just give in (it’s only 30 seconds of my life) or should I tell my sister to piss off because it’s my wedding, not hers?

—Not Into Dad Walking Me Down the Aisle

Re: Bean dip your damn sister

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    mod

    I'm not like, awake at night thinking about this, but I wish I'd walked alone.

    I let my sister (and my mom) talk me into having my dad walk me. He was never horrible, just never present. My mom was the only parent that ever mattered and I just wanted to walk alone since I knew mom wouldn't be comfortable having just her walk me.

    So yeah, bean dip your damn sister.

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    VarunaTTOliveOilsMomGreenjinjo
  • I'm not like, awake at night thinking about this, but I wish I'd walked alone.

    I let my sister (and my mom) talk me into having my dad walk me. He was never horrible, just never present. My mom was the only parent that ever mattered and I just wanted to walk alone since I knew mom wouldn't be comfortable having just her walk me.

    So yeah, bean dip your damn sister.

    I actually wish I had walked alone too. My Dad and I don't have a great relationship, and the idea of him "handing me off" drove me crazy (and you can see it in my face in the pictures). I also gave in on the father-daughter dance song, and wish that I hadn't. 
    VarunaTTGreenjinjo
  • Definitely bean dip.

    I wish I had my dad around for wedding stuff, but I'm glad my mum was and she walked my down the aisle. I couldn't.

    But that's all choice and someone shouldn't guilt another into what happens.
  • I'd tell sis, "I don't fault it for others, but I personally find "giving the bride away" to be a sexist tradition.  And I'm not going to do it.  Hopefully dad will understand, but I'm not changing my mind and the discussion is closed."

    I'd also consider throwing in a "and don't give two flying f**s if he doesn't", just depending on how charitable I was feeling at the time of the conversation.

    My father passed away when I was in college.  I was planning to walk by myself, but my mom really wanted to walk me down the aisle (she also did for my sister).  Walking by myself was only a small preference, so I didn't say anything and went with the flow.  In the end, I was glad she walked with me.  It helped to calm my nerves.

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    MissKittyDangerGreenjinjo OurWildKingdom
  • But Bean Dipping is SO HARD!

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