Dear Prudence,
I am a straight woman. Recently at a convention, a gay female colleague was started coming on to me at the hotel bar after too many drinks. I did what I’d usually do with straight men who act that way: I called her bluff in a good-natured but not-so-subtle way, which usually puts a friendly end to things. I said, “OK, you’ve been flirting with me all night, so I’m calling your bluff. If you’re serious, then let’s do it. If not, then knock it off.” She acted really differently than most men do, as though I’d somehow offended her by being too aggressive, even though this was after she’d been flirting and making escalating come-ons for hours already. I started wondering whether my response violates some unspoken rule of LGBT culture. Did I do the wrong thing? I didn’t want to offend her.