My political Christmas

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I know I am walking into the lion’s den by asking you this, as you’ve made it abundantly clear you do not agree with Trump’s politics, but I would like to know if there is a good line to have ready to combat the whole, “you must be a racist bigot” if you support Trump line of discussion. I most closely align with libertarian politics, but in our two-party system, if you want your vote to count you have to go red or blue, and on the issues I see as most important, I fall in line with the Republicans. I have a couple of family members in liberal colleges that seem to lump all Trump supporters together as racists and bigots and refuse to listen to counter opinions. Is there a way to say, I’m not a racist because I voted for Trump, and if you won’t give me the respect to try and see my viewpoint, I don’t want to talk about politics with you in a way that will stick?

—Politics

MissKittyDanger

Don't. Talk. Politics.

M's family is opposite what M and I are, and the conversations get strong. It's pretty well behaved but it's not enjoyable to have this come up.

Someone brings it up, say "How about we enjoy *holiday* instead of getting into this? I'd rather not"

banana468

I will echo @MissKittyDanger.     I've rarely seen political conversations go well.   I'd excuse myself from the table simply to say, "I don't think we see eye to eye on all the issues but I respect your opinion."  

mrsconn23

No matter the side, when politics are discussed at a family event, I roll my eyes and take a drink.  If it gets to be too much, I go find the kids (and I'm *not* a 'sit on the floor and play' mom/aunt). 

bleve0821

I usually just listen and say absolutely nothing one way or the other, regardless of how I feel.  It's the safest bet.  It eventually gets easier to tune out the nonsense. 

short+sassy

 I think it depends on the people involved.  But total avoidance of political discussions is always a safe course.

I have a good friend who is VERY different from me, politically.  We discuss politics with each other, but are respectful of each others' views and usually keep them fairly short discussions.  I find it helpful because I can see through the eyes of the "other side".  And I always hope I do the same for her.  Especially since I'm pretty sure I'm the only outlet she's exposed to for opposite views.  Her family is just like her and she surrounds herself with only Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Internet crazies.  That is one of her failings.  She will believe ANYTHING she reads online...if it is in line with her political views.

DrillSergeantCat

If all the people who wanted to vote 3rd party actually voted 3rd party, then they might actually have a chance of winning. I hate that line. But yeah...just walk away or change the subject.

MissKittyDanger

mrsconn23 said:

No matter the side, when politics are discussed at a family event, I roll my eyes and take a drink.  If it gets to be too much, I go find the kids (and I'm *not* a 'sit on the floor and play' mom/aunt). 

At least there's kids as a distraction! I usually go find the animal, or wander.

charlotte989875

So I have a hard time with this because my family LOVES to ask me my opinion since they don't actually know what I do and just think that a PhD in Political Science means that I'm "in to politics". If I'm asked a direct question I'll answer it but other than that I stay out of it, or say "a lot of scientific research disputes what you're saying". 

Now my family members that don't "believe in" science are a whole different story. With them I drink a ton of wine. 

Heffalump

mrsconn23 said:

No matter the side, when politics are discussed at a family event, I roll my eyes and take a drink.  If it gets to be too much, I go find the kids (and I'm *not* a 'sit on the floor and play' mom/aunt). 

That is one of the best parts about having kids at a family gathering.  It works for all kinds of tomfoolery, not just political.

baconsmom

mrsconn23 said:

 I most closely align with libertarian politics, but in our two-party system, if you want your vote to count you have to go red or blue...

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU'RE THE PROBLEM, ASSHOLE. 

Sorry. 

lovesclimbing

I agree with PPs. Just don't talk politics. Especially if you're in a family who votes different ways. I will never understand WHY people feel the pressing need to change everyone else's mind particularly with family and the holidays. Does anyone here know of a family member who changed their political views because of holiday arguments with family? Because I don't. 

I agree with my family on most things politics and I still generally stay silent and just don't join in. 

mrsconn23

baconsmom said:

mrsconn23 said:

 I most closely align with libertarian politics, but in our two-party system, if you want your vote to count you have to go red or blue...

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU'RE THE PROBLEM, ASSHOLE. 

Sorry. 

For a second there I was like, "I NEVER SAID THAT!"

And then I realized it was from the letter.   

short+sassy

lovesclimbing said:

I agree with PPs. Just don't talk politics. Especially if you're in a family who votes different ways. I will never understand WHY people feel the pressing need to change everyone else's mind particularly with family and the holidays. Does anyone here know of a family member who changed their political views because of holiday arguments with family? Because I don't. 

I agree with my family on most things politics and I still generally stay silent and just don't join in. 

On the whole, no.  Nor would I expect to.  But when I've discussed politics with people of an opposing view, I have both corrected major misconceptions on their end and was able to better understand opposing views on my end.

But it has to be with the right people.  People who are at least open to what I am saying, even if they don't agree.  I've actually rarely had it even start to devolve into something bad.  But if it starts heading in that direction, I'll just end it with a, "Thanks for sharing your views with me.  I think we just need to agree to disagree."  With a big smile.  And then bean dip to something else.

VarunaTT

I honestly don't know how I feel about this.  Lots of activist training is "approaching people where they are" to talk to them and convince them over to your side.  I've always felt like I was really bad at that, b/c living in the Bible Belt and a seriously conservative state as a queer atheist woman, I pretty much always feel under attack. I don't WANT to meet these people where they are at.

But I'm struggling, b/c I feel like I really should've talked to my father about this election.  B/c he's always talking about how people should be judged on their merits and their sexual orientation/gender identification shouldn't matter.  But then he votes for the party that actively works against those identities.  And being out and with a woman now, I really needed to make him understand how his vote was going to directly affect me, my relationship, and my community.  But I also couldn't handle the idea that I might talk to him, he might know, and then still vote the way he does.  And so I made the easier decision.  Right after the election, I could tell he wanted to talk to me and I just kept bean dipping him until he got the hint that I wasn't willing to talk about it.

I think everyone just needs to decide based on their own personal feelings and their family dynamics.  I can have these conversations with my mother (we had a great conversation re: free tuition at college, where I was able to put some skepticism in her mind b/c she's against it).

GBCK

@VarunaTT, FWIW, this was IMO, kinda excellentat addressing the dads that infuriated me.
http://www.scarymommy.com/what-i-need-to-tell-my-father-in-the-wake-of-the-election/

To bad I can't print it and hand it out tomorrow (but I can't)