Wedding Woes

Monday

How was the weekend?

Saturday morning we were at church bright and early for 6let's First Communion.  It was lovely.  It was PACKED over 1,000 people.  I was sitting with my family thankful they were around us.  Then I was looking around  at my church family thinking wow I'm blessed.  There were so many people there that I knew I could call at any moment for anything and they'd be there. 

Saturday afternoon I got a text that my friend's husband died suddenly.  There was no insurance (PSA GET INSURANCE).  Within 24 hours they meal train was filled in for a month, the fundraising was over $2500, and people were signed up to volunteer time right and left.  People were volunteering to mow grass, shuttle kids, anything.  People that didn't even know them. 

Selfishly, it made me realize I had a family of origin, a church family, and a community family that really would surround us for anything.  Man I'm lucky.

charlotte989875kvrunsmrsconn23sparklepants41missJeanLouiselevioosashort+sassyOurWildKingdomCMGragainMNNEBride
«1

Re: Monday

  • What's up?!  Weekend was all right.  Services were nice.   It was a Catholic funeral and Catholic traditions are like a riding a bike, you never forget how to do it.   

    A couple things:

    1.  There were THREE days of services planned (wake, funeral, burial).  We didn't find out until late Friday that the burial wasn't until mid-afternoon Saturday.  I was not feeling it and the weather was shitty.  We went to DH's uncle's house where FIL was staying and he was all, "Oh I didn't think you were staying." DH basically said, "OH, I guess not! See ya!"  I told DH he was not getting a three day extravaganza. 

    2. DH's cousin had her wedding shower planned for Saturday morning.  I never planned on going because I was scheduled to work, plus I'm not that close to her at all (neither is DH).  They planned the aforementioned burial around the shower.  DH's aunt asked me what we were doing Saturday and at the time, I was all, "I think we're staying for the burial." and then she launched into this huge guilt trip about how I should go because it would be a "nice gesture".   I said, "OK.  I'll think about it, but I have to see what we're doing." We had one car and had to check out of a hotel in the middle of the shower.  Also, I have a visceral reaction to people trying to force me to do shit for the sake of 'family' because I have an aunt who does that shit and it's caused major drama in the past within my family.  I sent a gift, but didn't go. 

    I did get to meet DH's cousin's new puppy and she's the sweetest little thing.  We also spent a ton of time with family we don't see very often.  

    Once we got home Saturday, we unwound for a couple hours and then went to Menards to get fertilizer and tried a new burger place for dinner.  Yesterday, I went to the store and then we spent more time relaxing. 
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    DH's new company is in all week.  He's going to be a beast and he's going to miss M2's music program and he has to work late Thursday night.  He also turns 40 on Wednesday.  It's rainy and I really just want to eat brownies all day.

    In good news tonight is the last night of PSR.  The last night of picking kids up at school and spending 2 hours with a bunch of first graders.
  • Bathroom renovation is taking far longer than we anticipated, and we're not even replacing the toilet and run. This is the current state of the second floor of my house. 


  • That tub!! WANT!
    charlotte989875kimmiinthemittenMissKittyDangersparklepants41

  • mrsconn23 said:

    That tub!! WANT!


    H wanted to get rid of it. He's insane. It's a 100 year old cast iron tub, it's not going anywhere. It is getting a facelift. Repainting the bottom and putting in new fixtures and a new shower. 
    mrsconn23VarunaTTsparklepants41short+sassy
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited May 2017
    @charlotte989875 your H is crazy, that tub is amazing!

    @6fsn sorry for your loss. 

    The weekend was kind of a bust. I had a funky stomach and could barely eat all weekend. Saturday night H wanted to go out, so we did for a couple hours and I was too tired to stay out. Yesterday I was finally feeling better so I went out for Sunday Funday with my BFF. At least I got tons of sleep. 

    Work was crazy last week and should be better this week except for two super boring days of training Thursday/Friday. Oh yeah, H won the election last week so he's the new union president!  I'm so proud of him!
    image
    charlotte989875DrillSergeantCatshort+sassy
  • @6fsn  sorry to hear about your friend's husband, but that's so lovely to hear about people coming to help out <3

    @charlotte989875  love that tub!

    @kimmiinthemitten  yay sleep at least ;)

    @Heffalump  what a weekend! That entire conversation sounds like something I'd hear on "The O.C" years ago - your grandma is probably right about them ;)
    Side note, one of my friends has stainless steel appliances and uses coconut oil to clean them. Not because she's worried about chemicals, but because it's so much cheaper. She has 4 kids, so she tends to find things that are multi-uses for things.


    It's pouring here, and I'm dragging my ass. I also forgot my glasses ....

    Friday - M was out. Since I was already starting to get stuffy, I opted for a bath. As I used nasal spray lying on the bed, I almost fell asleep lol I got up and watched tv for a bit, but kept spacing out since I was tired. Crashed at like 8pm lol

    Saturday - met a friend for bagels, ended up spending all day with her lol!

    Sunday - rainy day. M had a coupon for a hunting store, and we had to do bottles plus check out home hardware.
    $4.70 back from empties, and got what we needed {shower head has been spraying, it's the teflon tape that wasn't sealing. Got new stuff}
    Got home, took a nap then spent an hour in bed because I didn't want to move.

    Really wondering if this is allergies or maybe a bit of a cold. If it's a cold, it's pretty low key.
  • This weekend was important, but not great.  K and I had a quarrel that had kind of been a long time coming.  More of a "state of the relationship" and "expectations" type thing.  We're both working really hard not to replicate mistakes of past relationships and it's hard.  I think we're doing it and things are in a good spot right now.  There's one specific issue that she called her BFF for advice about b/c he's had the same issue.  I really like this friend and expected she would call him, but was...concerned, worried? what his advice would be.  He ended up telling her what I told her as well, so that was a sigh of relief.  

    Other than that, Aunt Flo visited with a damn vengeance.  I had stopped taking my PMDD supplement out of sheer laziness and I paid for it.  I'm picking it back up tomorrow.  We went to a drag queen bingo game yesterday and made out like bandits, for the first time ever.  I can't even count how many drag queen bingos I've been at and never won.  Yesterday I won twice, K won once.

    We had horrible rains here and the apartment ended up leaking again, but not as bad as the last time we had rains similar to this.  I'm still surprised it didn't actually flood in the creek that runs through the city, but it flooded all around us.
  • edited May 2017
    @6fsn I'm so sorry for your loss. 

    @charlotte989875 that bathtub is amazing!!!

    I'm back from my long birthday weekend. Had to be in early for a 7:30 meeting this morning, so that plus the gloomy damp weather we are having is making me exhausted. 

    A good friend's mother-in-law passed away on Friday after a sudden but brief illness, so I am going to the wake tonight. 

    Edited because I don't know what day it is. 
    HeffalumpMissKittyDanger
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2017
    @6fsn, I am so sorry to hear about your friend's husband.  That's great that she has so much support.

    Mr. Heff has cheap insurance through his employer.  He always says that if anything happens to him, I'll be a millionaire.  I'm like "Um...yay?"  :\

    @sparklepants41, happy birthday!!
    sparklepants41
  • edited May 2017
    @mrsconn23  eulogies are never easy and I swear you can't please every one. But sounds like your H did a great one :) 85 years in 5-7 mins is damn good!

    @sparklepants41  happy bday!!

    @Heffalump  my mum says that too "When I die you'll have so much money" as to which I always tell her that regeneration is a costly process.
    sparklepants41mrsconn23Heffalump
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Our offer was accepted on our new house Friday. Saturday, we went and did some antique shopping (looking really) and my oldest came over because he really missed his little brother. Mouse was crying when he knocked on the door, but as soon as he saw his bubba he quit crying and put his arms up to be picked up. They sat and played for a while.

    Oldest told me that his dad (my exH) is going to Montana to buy a casino and is also getting into the rental property business. I admit to being bitter at the fact that he used to tell me how much better his life would be without me and, apparently, he was right. Now I'm wondering what I need to do to not be such a drain on my H.

    Sunday, we slept late (Norah is such a good sleeper, she only wakes up once around 5 and then goes back to sleep (i just knocked wood btw)) and decided to try to go to our favorite breakfast joint. It's usually a 20 minute drive, it took an hour to get there, because our memorial marathon went right in front of the restaurant. Then, we get there and it's a 90 minute wait. We went somewhere else and finally got to eat breakfast at noon. We then went home and I started cleaning. I have a list of stuff that needs to be done so that my house is ready for showings. We're hoping it sells as quickly as H's did. 

    On that note, our two houses were built a year apart and are almost exactly the same floorplan. The only differences are that our kitchens go different directions, I have a 3/4 bath in the master instead of a 1/2, and his is 25 square feet bigger. However, my house was a flip. It's got brand new stainless steel appliances, cabinets, granite countertops, subway tile backsplash in the kitchen, subway tile shower and tub surround in the bathrooms, new sinks and toilets, new carpet in the bedrooms, and bamboo flooring in the hall and living areas. Somehow, he decided that all those updates didn't make up for the slightly smaller square footage and told some friends of his that we were selling it for $5,000 less than we got for his which is $5,000 less than we (realtor and I) were going to ask. He makes me facepalm sometimes.
    MissKittyDangershort+sassy
  • kvrunskvruns member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @DrillSergeantCat I'd just remind your H that the price is X, not Y. If his friends are interested he can tell them he got it wrong. 
    DrillSergeantCatkimmiinthemittencharlotte989875
  • @DrillSergeantCat Congrats on the offer and yay for your oldest and Mouse's relationship <3
    I think your exH said that out of spite, and I doubt you have that reaction the your H. Don't let the crap he {ex} pulled or said bring you down <3
    DrillSergeantCatOurWildKingdom
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    kvruns said:

    @DrillSergeantCat I'd just remind your H that the price is X, not Y. If his friends are interested he can tell them he got it wrong. 


    He seemed legitimately shocked when I told him what I was asking. He really just doesn't get that my house in near perfect condition is worth more than his. 
    short+sassy
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited May 2017







    kvruns said:



    @DrillSergeantCat I'd just remind your H that the price is X, not Y. If his friends are interested he can tell them he got it wrong. 






    He seemed legitimately shocked when I told him what I was asking. He really just doesn't get that my house in near perfect condition is worth more than his. 




    It's probably because the house was his and therefore it has a higher intrinsic value to him than yours does.  We tend to overvalue things that belong to us.

    About your ex, just because he can buy a casino doesn't mean his life is better.  Had I never met H he'd probably have more money in his savings account.  He'd also still be living in a one bedroom apartment, and eating $3 frozen Kroger pizzas for dinner.  Money =/= better.

    Edited because we're married now so he's graduated from FI. LOL
    image
    MissKittyDangerDrillSergeantCatcharlotte989875short+sassy
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2017




    It's probably because the house was his and therefore it has a higher intrinsic value to him than yours does.  We tend to overvalue things that belong to us.

    About your ex, just because he can buy a casino doesn't mean his life is better.  Had I never met H he'd probably have more money in his savings account.  He'd also still be living in a one bedroom apartment, and eating $3 frozen Kroger pizzas for dinner.  Money =/= better.

    Edited because we're married now so he's graduated from FI. LOL




    You're right on both accounts. With my exH, money does = better. He'd have been happy living in his one bedroom apartment eating 49 cent Tony's pizzas for dinner. Money definitely makes some things easier, but it's a lot easier for me not to have to hear, "If it weren't for you, I'd have more money/a job I liked/no yard to have to mow/house to have to work on/etc ad nauseam."
  • Saturday we had GREAT weather.     It hit nearly 80 so DH, the kids and I had breakfast and then went outside.   The kids played and "helped" me pick up sticks while DH used the leaf blower.    We spent a good two hours outside and the kids came in filthy.   Chiquito had a bath before he could eat lunch and I scoured him for ticks but STILL found one on his head yesterday in the middle of church.  We think it was too big to be a deer tick but ugh.     Poor dude had no clue.

    Saturday night we had a surprise party for a friend turning 40 so we got a sitter and hit the road in the convertible.  It was SO nice to get out.

    Yesterday I woke up with seriously sore thighs -  bending over and filling 3 wheelbarrows of crud will give your body a well overdue stretch!

    Today I'm back to work and looking for indoor activities for our trip to NYC this weekend.   The weather is now looking iffy and I want to come up with alternatives to getting soaked.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2017
    @charlotte989875, I can't wait to see the after pics!
    @6sfn, sorry for your loss.  It's great to see that people came together to help.

    Our weather was crappy here too.  DH was pretty much bedridden with a bad cold so we stayed in and cooked and watched movies.  Sunday he was feeling better so we did dinner and some shopping.  I got a new blender. It's not as good as the ninja, but at least the cap doesn't get stuck  :|


    charlotte989875
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Friday I went to a job fair and had two more interviews. That makes seven total interviews for the week. One went pretty well I think. The manager gave me a card and told me about the follow up phone calls for a second interview that I would get this week. My feet were dead you guys. I don't know how people stand in heels but after 2.5 hours of standing I thought I was going to lose them. 

    Saturday I went to a funeral in the early afternoon. I went with a friend (it was our classmate's father's funeral) and she drug me up front to say hello to our classmate after the service. It was really awkward. I didn't want to be "showy" at all about attending, which is how it felt since we aren't close. 

    After the funeral I drove back home and then SO and I went to the annual festival in his home town for a few hours. It was hot this weekend--almost 90, and I was pushing his ass around in a wheelchair the whole time. After we were done at the festival we went to our favorite bar/restaurant for dinner. And for some reason that's when PMS decided to hit me hard. I was so freaking irritated with everything, and I was exhausted. SO had taken a three hour nap so he was ready to be up all night and I just could not handle it. 

    Yesterday we went back to the festival to meet up with his family. It was a decently fun day. Then we went home and watched Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them for the first time (bad Harry Potter fan, bad!) It was darker than I expected but good. 

    Today I am being lazy and I don't even care. The last few weeks have drained me. I need a day to veg out and ignore life. 


    image
    missJeanLouise
  • She's awesome @kimmiinthemitten!! Get her now. 
    kimmiinthemitten
  • Oh no, y'all.  FSIL wants to order FG dresses from Light in the Box.  This does not sound promising.  I'm going to pack a backup dress for Wooz, just in case.

    Also, she asked if I want to get my hair done.  Six women, one hairdresser.  This seems potentially problematic.


  • So, we've agreed we can adopt a pup when H is done with school, and the dog/bed/boyfriend post made me curious...so off to petfinder I went for fun.  

    We both love Bulldogs but don't want to buy a dog when so many can be resuced.... and in comes Izzy.  She loves cats (!), is Deaf and knows some hand signals (!!) and is already housetrained (!!!).  We need. 


    **Baby voice** OMG look at her little face!!!! I just want to smoosh her!!!
    kimmiinthemittenDrillSergeantCatcharlotte989875MissKittyDanger
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    H responded to the email with "busy day at work?"

    How did I marry a man who clearly has no soul?
    image
    short+sassy
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards