Start time of a Friday Night wedding

laxchick20183

Hey everyone, 

We are having a Friday Night Wedding and the cermony starts at 8pm.  My future mother in law feels that it is too late.  Both my fiance and I thought the start time was fine.  I called to see if I can change but since a day wedding is going on the same day unfortuntely we have to stay with the 8pm.  I really don't understand what the big deal is of the start time since it is a night wedding.  I'm not sure if I should fight to have it changed just to make her happy.  Especially since my finance and I are the one's paying for the entire wedding. 

Thanks, Michelle

danixbanani

Well, IMO, that is kind of late even for a Friday wedding.  I understand there isn't much you can do about it now though.  Are you having a cocktail hour also? Maybe consider cutting your cocktail hour by a half hour?  Your FMIL is probably just concerned about dinner being served so late since the older folks tend to get grumpy about that. 

Is your ceremony at the same place as your reception?  Maybe you could have your ceremony at 7:30 or 7?  Even if there is another wedding before you (if your ceremony and reception are at the same place), I can't see the problem with starting your ceremony at least half an hour earlier. 

I'm having a Friday wedding also and I'm getting people complaining about it being too early! (my ceremony is 5:30).  You just can't win sometimes and my feeling is, its my wedding and this is it.  If you don't like it, too bad.  A little bridezilla-ish of me but it's just my opinion. 

My friend's wedding on NYE started kind of late but her ceremony was at 7, cocktail was at 8 and then reception until 1am (it was NYE after all). 

Good luck!  I know FMIL's can be a pain sometimes

Aks3131

I'm having a Friday wedding but my ceremony and recption are not at the same place. My ceremony is at 3:30 and the reception is at 6. I personally don't mind a start time of 8. Most venues I called did give me a start time of 8 and said it couldn't be changed so I think thats pretty normal for Long Island. 

If you can't change the start time don't worry about it too much. It is a Friday after all so most people don't have work the next day.  Remember the day is about you and your fiance being happy and it is impossible to make everyone else happy so if 8 works for you keep it that way.

laxchick20183

I'm having the ceremony at the same place so it starts at 8 and then cocktail hour starts at 8:30.  When places I have gone to before I booked this place all said it starts at 8 for a Friday night wedding.  We honestly don't have that many older people coming.  Both of us don't have grandparents anymore.  His mother sometimes acts as if it is her wedding and not ours.  I called yesterday and they said that the start time unfortuntely can not be changed but guest can start arriving at 7:30 since the ceremony starts at 8. 

saisongbird

Can you do the cocktail hour before the ceremony?  8 is a really late start.

JazzAmin5265

My wedding is on a Friday evening and my ceremony start time is 7:30.  I'm comfortable with our time frame.  A lot of our guests will be around our age and will not mind a late party.

saisongbird

Even coming from a younger person's POV, if it's a traditional LI wedding, you're talking dinner being served around midnight.  Just something to consider.

laxchick20183

Well I guess people will just have to deal with it because it can't be changed.  They have cocktail hour at 830 to eat and dinner is at maybe 10.  The way I look at it now if it is a problem then don't come.  I just don't get why ever has to have their opinion in everything. 

alithebride

no way!!! leave it alone. it's a friday. i'd have LOVED it if the friday weddings i've been to had an 8pm start time-so much easier for the guests!!! with earlier starts on fridays it's a PITA to leave work, rush home, shower, dress and get to the venue by 7-or worse 6!!! . nearly impossible. keep it at 8. and it's a friday-saturday the next day-weekend! people can stay out late. i think it's perfect!!!

Aks3131

Just try not to let other peoples opinions bother you. It's your wedding and your fiances no one elses. Family members will always have an opinion and there is always that one person who thinks its there wedding. Just smile at them say "ok I'll think about it" to whatever they say and do what will make YOU happy.

saisongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-long-island_start-time-of-friday-night-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:120Discussion:93109eb1-a46b-4a35-9539-8a012943786fPost:413257e5-bb88-4b65-9d32-c1607cc31e86">Re: Start time of a Friday Night wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I guess people will just have to deal with it because it can't be changed.  They have cocktail hour at 830 to eat and dinner is at maybe 10.  The way I look at it now if it is a problem then don't come.  I<strong> just don't get why ever has to have their opinion in everything. </strong>
Posted by laxchick20183[/QUOTE]

<div>There's no need to be rude - you asked for opinions, we gave them.  Mine happens to be different than yours.  If you don't want opinions, don't ask for them.  But you don't need to get snippy about it.</div>

Anabeth420

I think that's really late, Friday night or otherwise. Whether there's going to be older people or not, it's late. And your MIL has a right to be concerned. She wants to celebrate and you're going to have people falling asleep after dinner.

It's also quite rude, IMHO, to expect everyone to agree with you. I'd RSVP no, for several reasons, and I'm "younger." And I know my family would have been pissed if I didn't care about their schedules or lifestyles when planning my wedding.

laxchick20183

I wasn't trying to be rude.  What I meant is the family.  If they are not paying for it then they should not be adding their opinion to it.  That's what I meant.  My finances mom always has to try and add her opinion to everything even if it is not wanted.  She just needs to learn sometimes it is not all about her. 

danixbanani

Well like you said there's really nothing you can do, the venue said this is it then that's it.  At least you tried!  That's what I'd tell my FMIL...hey, I tried, the venue said no.  Build a bridge and get over it LOL

nflubin

I"m having a Friday night wedding as well. We are starting at 7pm with a cocktail hour at 7:30pm We wanted it to end by 1am so we thought that time would be perfect. I do think 8pm is a bit late but again that's my opinion. And at the end of the day, you're right. it's your day if people don't like it they don't have to come - after all they are eating and drinking for free.

Eck739

I am getting married next summer and my wedding starts at 8pm...my ceremony will be in the late afternoon...cocktail hr from 8 to 9.....reception from 10 to 1

I think its great for anyone who has to travel or work that day.  If they dont want to stay that late, i wouldnt be offended if they left early.

KelBelle118

im getting married on a friday our ceremony starts at 7.. we figured ppl will still want to work come home get ready and come.. cocktail is until 8 then so on. I think 8 ceremony is a bit of a late start but its a weekend they have the whole weeend to rest from being out late lol its not like your doing that on a weeknight. and its your night do what works for you!

ange820

My fiance and I chose a Friday night wedding for a multiple of reasons (mostly the savings).

Dilemma:
The Venue is offering
6:30pm coctail start (ending at 11:30pm)
or
8pm coctail start (ending at 1am)

Our church is willing to accomodate both times for our ceremony.

I need your honest opinions, which one is better choice for a Friday night wedding?