You can back off for now and it doesn't have to be for forever.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend recently broke up with me after over a year and a half of dating. He said he just wasn't ready for a committed relationship at this point in his life. We are still friends. His mom and I still talk all the time, and he's still my best friend, so we text every day. My question is, how do I move on? We were at a point where I could envision us building a life together and we talked about it often, except toward the end when he almost stopped talking to me entirely. I'm finding it tough to give up that vision of us I had in my head and embrace our close friendship. How do you think I should handle it?

–Best Ex Forever

missJeanLouise

No contact. With him or his mother.
The only reason someone stays friends with an ex is because one of them thinks there is a chance of getting back together, hook up at least. Which is fine if that's what you want but not if you are trying to move on.

kimmiinthemitten

Tell him that you wish you were in a place to continue your friendship, but the close proximity and contact is making it impossible for you to move on.

And be honest with yourself, you're not ready to let go so you're willing to hurt yourself regularly and repeatedly because it's easier than accepting the truth.

MissKittyDanger

This is an issue I had for the longest time.

Honestly .... LW has to break contact. It's not easy, but giving yourself time to heal and re-establish who you are is insanely important.

Back story {for reference}
I was in an off-and-on relationship with my best friend at the time from shortly after we met at 17 until early 20s. We both dated but kept going back to each other. For awhile, I started envisioning our future but after awhile we both realized that however much we cared about each other, we weren't working.

We both backed off. It wasn't until I stopped thinking about us, did I end up meeting M


edit:
Also note that his sister is one of my best friends and was in my wedding party .... so let's just make life complicated when trying to move on :P 

short+sassy

Preach it, ladies!  You all have a slightly different take for the same great advice.

I had this exact same thing happen in college with a guy I'd been dating for about 8 months.  The whole, "I really care about you and I want to keep dating, but I don't want to feel tied down."  Oh, the young.  I actually agreed to "keep dating, but not exclusively", because I was hoping he would change his mind.

But this was his decision and I wasn't going to sit on the shelf either.  So I went on a date with a new guy.  When "old guy" found out, he actually had the audacity to blow up at me.  Ranting about how he'd told me he wasn't really going to date other women.  He just wanted the freedom to know he could.  I let him finish his rant.  And then coldly, calmly, and with a slightly sarcastic tone said, "I'm sorry.  I misunderstood.  I didn't realize being allowed to date other people was only for you."

LMAO, the look on his face was priceless!  It was like he suddenly realized what an utter a**hole he sounded like.  We totally broke things off that night but, "stayed friends".

To be fair, I wouldn't say the "staying friends" was a mistake.  But, unlike the LW, we just caught up with each other 1-2/times a month.  We also had the same group of mutual friends.  But we certainly didn't try to stay "besties".  That is just crazy making.