Today in the chat.
Q. Delayed thank-yous:
My partner and I got married last summer. After the wedding, my siblings and parents and I went through several sudden, unanticipated traumas. Not all of these traumas are public knowledge, even among close friends and extended family. Through it all, I’ve been incredibly anxious to send thank-you notes, but I haven’t had the heart to do the task. Now I’m so embarrassed, and don’t know what to do. Should we acknowledge that we’ve been having a hard time in our notes? Are we still within some window where they somehow aren’t really late, and we don’t have to apologize? My partner has offered to write the notes, but they had fewer family and friends at the wedding and also have terrible handwriting.
A: I have good news: You are still within the not-late window! Not according to the strictest of sticklers, of course, but it is relatively common knowledge that couples have a full year to send thank-you notes for their wedding. (God, this is, like, the one old-school etiquette thing I actually know, and I’m exceedingly grateful to get the chance to finally deploy it.)
You don’t have to share intimate emotional information to explain why these notes are coming out toward the tail end of your newlywed year, although I do think you should take up your partner’s offer to help, despite their terrible handwriting. They can at least write the notes for their family members, or help you stuff and stamp envelopes, so you’re not doing this all by yourself. I hope this next year brings more good news than bad for the both of you.
