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How do I evict my mom without drama? (Spoiler: you can't)

Dear Prudence,
I’m evicting my mother and her boyfriend for not paying rent, not following the house rules, and not walking the dog, among other things. It pains me to do this, but they’re creating problems with my husband, who says he would put up with my mom but can’t stand the boyfriend (who doesn’t work or contribute financially). We have in one way or the other supported them for many years, but we are unable to do so any longer, either emotionally or financially. Now my mother talks to others and to me as if we are kicking them out for no reason. How do I let go?
—Is There an Easier Way to Evict Your Mother?

Re: How do I evict my mom without drama? (Spoiler: you can't)

  • This is mixing business and pleasure.   People who aren't logical won't see your logic.   What you need to do is decide which is worse for you: The current situation and the physical and emotional messes contained in it OR the verbal diarrhea falling out of your mother's mouth to anyone who will listen and the subsequent opinions that follow. 

    It's not a decision that's easy for everyone -  so figure out if you can live with the eviction and the baggage.  
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Is this Ashley from Real Housewives of Potomac? 

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    This is the opposite of the guy in NY who is being kicked out of his parents house!

    I feel like LW needs to choose between her H or her mom.  It seems like she wants to side with her H and now needs to figure out how to deal with mom's blabbing.

    If LW encounters anyone who mentions something to her that sounds like the crap her mom is spewing, I think LW needs to stick up for herself.  "This was a hard decision to make.  Mom is not telling the full story, only her side.  There are two sides to every story.  She is neglecting to abide by the only rules we had for her when she agreed to move in, so we have asked her to find her own place."  And to her mom "Mom, we have been over this.  We have asked you to do X, Y, and Z in order to live with us.  You have stopped abiding by the rules we have set for our house, so it is for the best that you leave."

    If mom's blabbing, I'd have no problems blabbing back!  I just wouldn't go into any details like mom.

  • Has LW mentioned what she wrote to her mom? Or did she say "Mom, it's time you find a new place" and leave it at that? There might be a communications breakdown, especially if the mother is talking to her and saying that she isn't giving any reasons for evicting them.
  • LW and her H should have known better than to have invited the mom and b/f to live with them in the first place.  Because it sounds like they knew full well that the mom is irresponsible and doesn't have her s**t together.

    But that ship has sailed.  The only thing left to focus on is getting the mom and b/f out of their house.  Unfortunately, they will all be in a worse place relationship-wise then if they'd never let them move in, in the first place.  But, oh well.

    LW needs to grow a thicker skin and not care what her mom says to her or others.  People who know them are probably well aware of the kind of person the mother is.  If anyone says anything to LW directly, she can be the bigger person and just make general statements that, despite the mother claiming it is for no reason, the mom knows very well why and that things aren't working out.  I'd probably even throw out a joke like, "Well, hey, would you want to live with YOUR mother? haha."

    It is truly unbelievable the lies/stories people will make up...and I think even actually believe themselves sometimes...to keep them from facing the hard truth of how wrong and/or what a jerk they are.
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