Wedding Woes

Tell your roommates your concerns, but you may need to find a new place to live.

Dear Prudence,

I live in a very nice, spacious apartment with three really good friends and my partner. Recently, one of my roommates has gotten into a whirlwind romance with a woman from his work. They have been dating for four months and now want her to move into our apartment. We have the space, and the extra money would be great, but I’m concerned. His girlfriend can be very difficult and sometimes loud (we’ve recently gotten a noise complaint because of her), and she makes rude comments that make me feel bad about myself. I don’t want to be the bad guy who stops her from moving in, but I don’t want the next year to be complete hell. The apartment was split down the middle as far as letting her move in, but now it seems like everyone but me and my partner are on board. Should I just let it happen?

—One Roommate Too Many

Re: Tell your roommates your concerns, but you may need to find a new place to live.

  • banana468 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    Dear Prudence,

    I live in a very nice, spacious apartment with three really good friends and my partner. Recently, one of my roommates has gotten into a whirlwind romance with a woman from his work. They have been dating for four months and now want her to move into our apartment. We have the space, and the extra money would be great, but I’m concerned. His girlfriend can be very difficult and sometimes loud (we’ve recently gotten a noise complaint because of her), and she makes rude comments that make me feel bad about myself. I don’t want to be the bad guy who stops her from moving in, but I don’t want the next year to be complete hell. The apartment was split down the middle as far as letting her move in, but now it seems like everyone but me and my partner are on board. Should I just let it happen?

    —One Roommate Too Many
    It's time to look for a new place to live.  This is going to turn into a yucky situation fast.  

    It's hard enough living with my spouse and the two kids I birthed.   I can't imagine living with 5 other adults in one place.   It's too many people and is a recipe for disaster. 
    Werd.  Being in the same vacation house/condo with other adults (and kids) for a week of vacation is hard enough...even if you're having fun.  It's all the people and the stuff and the idiosyncrasies of each person with the things they like or don't like or whatever.  I cannot imagine living that full time (and not on vacation). 
    charlotte989875short+sassyMesmrEwe
  • I don’t think I’d ever want to live with my husband (even before we were married) in an apartment with other people and I’m surprised at how many LWs are in that situation. 

    But yeah, start looking for a new place. If you want to stay friends with this guy, you can’t tell him she can’t move in and expect it to end well. 
    short+sassy
  • I just did the math.  There are currently FIVE adults living in that apartment.  New g/f would be six.  Even when I was in college I didn't live with that many people, lol.

    In this case, the LW needs to be direct about their wishes.  Maybe not so much the dislike of the roomie's g/f.  But more of a, "I hate to say it, but that situation won't work for me.  I totally understand if you still move your g/f in.  No hard feelings.  But I will start looking for another place, if that happens."

    Just to add a potential fun twist.  It's possible, though not likely (assuming this is a 4-bed), they'd be breaking city occupancy rules.  Those codes are the touchiest and the strictest for non-related adults living in the same premises. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    charlotte989875OliveOilsMomMesmrEwekalinda2
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