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Wedding Woes

It shouldn't be laughed off, but you need to find a way to move past it.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited December 2018 in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
One of my closest friends in high school recently organized our 10-year reunion. I wasn’t able to attend, but the night of the event, he sent me a text saying, “We all miss you.” That was immediately followed by an extremely crude request for me to describe features of my genitals. I was shocked and upset. A friend says he was probably drunk and I should laugh it off. I’m not ready to, and I don’t think being drunk is an excuse. He had a chance to back off but persisted, even after I texted back “WTF?” He also hasn’t apologized in the days since. I feel that we don’t have a rapport where he could ask me that out of the blue, especially since we’ve drifted apart in the last decade. And I don’t feel that the fact we are both men makes it OK—I feel harassed and demeaned. I can’t let it go. Should I confront him about it or just continue to let our friendship fall by the wayside naturally?
—Old Friend Crossed New Line

Re: It shouldn't be laughed off, but you need to find a way to move past it.

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I feel like if he had his phone number to make texts...they're still pretty close.  He needs to talk to him and tell him it's not OK and he doesn't want to see that again...and then like @mrsconn23 mentioned - move past it.

  • Is he also not sure that this came from the friend or did another drunk friend grab the phone and text? 

    Amy Schumer has in her act that she texted Katie Couric's husband, "I want anal." 

    Plenty of times I'll see FB status changes that are clearly due to leaving phone out or a window open.  

    How about, "Dude what was up with the text about my junk??" 

    Give the guy the opportunity to respond since YOU HAVE HIS NUMBER AND CAN USE YOUR WORDS TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
  • Unless it was a really close friend now (not 10 years ago), I wouldn't even bother confronting them.  But I would block them and have no more contact.  If I ran into them, I'd use my "cold, but polite" face and tone.  The one that says, "I don't like you, but will suffer your presence as briefly as I can."

    If it was a closer friend and/or if we were in a mutual friend group and I might run into them frequently, then I would have a convo with them that I felt harassed and demeaned by their deplorable behavior.  Especially when they wouldn't let it go on the night of nor did they ever apologize.  At least to clear the air and get it off my chest.  Maybe they will take the opportunity to try and redeem themselves.

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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I'd be able to let this go, but since LW doesn't sound like he can, go ahead and text or call him. Tell him you're upset and offended by the inappropriate texts and you'd like an apology. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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