Constructive criticism is your friend.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence, 

I just started leading a Meetup group and have been looking forward to making friends, since I work from home. One other member, “Jen,” also works from home, is divorced, and has a daughter who just started college this fall. But she monopolizes the conversation so much (and she comes every week) that some members aren’t coming anymore! She sometimes says, “I know I talk too much, so just tell me to shut up.” I don’t want to do that either, but people are starting to drop out of the group because they can’t get a word in when Jen starts on a topic. I want to be a friend to her, which she really needs, but also want to be fair to the other members and keep them coming back more than once.

—Silent Leader

CharmedPam

This one’s tough because I know *that person* (the talker). I’d have to know how the meet up is structured.  Like can each person get a slot time?  Or can it not flow like that? 

mrsconn23

It sounds like LW could read some articles on leadership and/or meeting management.  Because they seem to want to foster this sense of community with these people and they're being run off by one person because LW, as the leader, won't manage the meetings they're setting up.  

Casadena

First, I would speak to Jen privately and say something like "I appreciate your input on XX topics, but since you asked me to speak up if you are talking to much, I wanted to point out that you often monopolize conversation and it's starting to affect attendance" 

Then ask for her help maybe to come up with topics/involve her in the structuring process, but going forward I would definitely try a more structured format.  Lists of topics and time limits on speaking can definitely foster great conversations and debates.  I would think from there, some natural friendships could easily form.

GBCK

if someone TELLS you that they need to be told to shut up, you privately let them know to shut up.