Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion
Options

You cannot control anyone's reaction to you.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I’ve been dating a divorced man who is more than 20 years my senior for three months, and I like him a lot. I’m meeting some of his friends and his teenage daughter later this week. I’m so nervous about meeting his daughter, especially because I’m closer to her age than his, and he has said that she can be very protective of him. How can I avoid screwing up this meeting? What is the best way to approach his daughter that is respectful and nonthreatening to her?
—Meeting My Boyfriend’s Daughter
Report Reply to Post

Re: You cannot control anyone's reaction to you.

  • Options
    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The best way to be respectful is to respect her & her feelings (whatever they are) and to be non threatening, well don’t ya know, threaten her? 

    She may have all all kinds of feelings about your relationship with here dad and they’re all okay. It sounds like you’re asssuming she’s going to have a problem when you don’t even know if that’s the case! 

    But generally, ask her questions about what she’s into, answer her questions, engage her as you would anyone else. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    But how close in age are you to his daughter exactly? 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    How old are you?  

    I am wondering if this is a person in her 20s dating someone in his 40s so her teens were a decade ago.   

    Even if they weren't the answer is that she should be respectful of the teenager and follow cues from her BF.  She's not parenting anyone.   She just needs to be nice.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It's possible the daughter may resent her or be more inclined to negative feelings even if she hasn't met her yet.  If so, unfortunately, there isn't much she could do about it and should try not take it personally.  I think the LW should be prepared for that, but also not expect/assume that is how it will be.  In other words, don't go into the first meeting already on the defensive.

    She should be friendly and open, just like she would be with any of the VIP people in his life.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Be friendly, be polite. Don't try to become best friends right from the get go because that'll probably make the daughter even more uncomfortable.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I finally got to meet SD last month. I took my cues from DW and MIL. I tried to teach her how to use chopsticks and bought her a lemonade. She hugged me when we dropped her off.

    LW is overthinking.
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards