My husband is kind, treats me well, and has stood by me through many ups and downs, even moving across the country with me to be closer to my elderly father. We used to be extremely intimate, but 14 years later there is no longer any sexual chemistry. Try as I might, he does not respond and seems put off by my advances. I have absolutely no reason to doubt his fidelity; I think it is physical and have asked him to address it with a doctor. He has not done so. He seems fine with the status quo, and since he saw me through a patch of low desire, I feel I owe it to him to be patient.
Still, I can’t go on like this. I am stuck. I am comfortable living alone, so that shouldn’t be a problem. However, my identity is defined with him as my partner, and it’s hard to bear the thought of him not being around. He is my best friend, after all. I am really starting to wonder if I would be better off single. This is such a difficult decision. Do I choose stability and companionship over living a fully independent lifestyle where I am free to explore as I please? This would be a second divorce for me, and I don’t know if I can bear it. I am so confused.
—Is Life Really Too Short for This?