Over a year ago, my husband and I got pregnant by accident. His teenage daughter was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, so we chose to end the pregnancy so we could be fully present for her. It ended up not being that simple. The chemical procedure that I could drive myself to didn’t work the way it was supposed to, and my husband had to drive me several hours to a clinic for a D and C. The night before the second procedure, something minor happened to a piece of equipment (bent metal, nothing broken), and he blew up and said he couldn’t take me. Prudie, I was so scared in that moment. I felt so alone and was already struggling with the suspicion that needing the second procedure was a bad sign. He relented and drove me the next morning. We were there all day, and I was drugged out of my skull. The only thing I really remember from the ride home is my husband yelling at me that I needed to stay awake to help him stay awake. I was too out of it to tell him that I couldn’t. I have told him how I felt, and he has told me he was scared he couldn’t stay awake, but he has not acknowledged that it hurt me.
In the year since, I’ve realized I desperately want to be pregnant again and keep the baby, but I’m not sure I want one with my husband. He has said he’d be willing to get pregnant if it matters that much to me, but I want someone who wants to be pregnant with me, not just someone who will tolerate it. Also, we got in a fight recently, and he said he never wanted a baby with me and no man ever would. I’m worried those are his true feelings and they would just come back to bite me if we did get pregnant. I then told him I didn’t want a baby with him. He got horribly hurt and said I was being unfair and not recognizing how hard he tries to make me happy and do what I want. Was I unfair or unreasonable?