In January my husband went to a bachelor party in New Orleans with a group of guys, only some of whom he knew well. I wasn’t worried, because I trusted the guys I knew. When my husband came back, he said they all went to a strip club and that some of the guys (who all had wives or serious girlfriends) were unfaithful, although he claimed not to have “done anything.” About three weeks later, I found out he got a private dance and touched a woman. I was so hurt. I was a wreck for months, not just because of what happened, but because he lied to me—I found out from one of the other guy’s girlfriends. I had a hard time sleeping and concentrating at work and am only now starting to feel more like myself. The problem is that one of the other guys in the group just got engaged and they’re all planning to go to New Orleans again. When he told us over the weekend, my husband enthusiastically replied that he would go! I wanted to punch him in the face.
We were in front of a group of people and I gave him a very stern “no” look, but he just kept pleading with me. It felt like a punch to the stomach. I kept wondering how any man who claimed to love me would be willing to put me through that kind of pain over again. We haven’t talked about it since. I don’t even know what to say. How do I convince him he shouldn’t want to hurt me again? Is it worth convincing him, or is my marriage over?
—Bachelor Party Woes