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Wedding Woes

Prudie can't answer this for you.

Dear Prudence,

I am in my early 30s, and while I’ve had a couple longish relationships with varying levels of success, I have been single much of my adult life. I spent the bulk of my 20s happily traveling and developing a great career. I’ve done a fair amount of “expiration dating” and have come out of those experiences with long-term, long-distance friends and lovers. Recently I’ve been looking for something stable and more long-term. Despite this, I took a two-month assignment in a different state for the summer. My temporary city is charming; the work I am doing is important to me; and I’ve met someone who is kind, handsome, and great in bed.

But my time here is coming to a close, and I think I have caught a bad case of feelings for this person. Our relationship has always had an end date. It’s hard to know if that chemistry and companionship would linger after the glow of a perfect summer fades. Even if we both wanted to pursue this, my home is 2,000 miles away. I don’t think we have a strong enough foundation to try to make long-distance work. He seems fairly committed to living in this area for the rest of his life, and while I’ve loved my summer here, I simply don’t know if I would be willing or able to uproot myself. But I’ve never felt this strongly about my previous expiration dates. Is it worth talking to him about these feelings? Or should I simply enjoy the time we have left and let our lovely summer fling become a fond, and eventually distant, memory?

—Summer Days Drifting Away

Re: Prudie can't answer this for you.

  • Why not talk about it? I see very little to lose. 
  • banana468 said:
    Oh Sandy, only you know if your feelings for Danny are worth spending more time together or if you should go back to Australia.   Prudie can't answer this.   

    OMG this made me laugh. 

    If you really like the guy, talk to him and see if you two want to try the long distance thing. If you both think this could have a future, give it a shot and see what happens. If one or both of you is reluctant, just chalk it up to a fun, memorable experience and move on.
  • I mean, should you talk to the person you are seeing about the feelings you have for them or should you what? I don’t get what the LW wants here, permission to ask the person they’re dating how they feel? 
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I’ve met someone who is kind, handsome, and great in bed.

    So you found a unicorn and you just want to give that up?
    you said the city was charming - you like that too. Ask your company if a permanent move is even an option?

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