I have a crush on a co-worker that’s making me miserable. We’re both married, and as far as I can tell it’s not mutual. I’ve remained professional, but we recently had to exchange numbers for a big project, and now I have daydreams about confessing. I know what’s causing this, in theory: My husband is unemployed, depressed, and mistrusts therapists, and we haven’t had sex in months. We talk about it regularly, and I’m working hard to support him emotionally and both of us financially. It’s hard, but I never question that it’s worth it. The object of my affection is about 10 years older than me, whip-smart, funny, supportive, and devoted to his family. Which is the stupidest reason to have a crush on someone, by the way. It’s just nice to think about a relationship like that.
But acting on it would ruin everything, and I don’t actually want to. Still, seeing him and thinking about him makes me flush like a teenager. It’s embarrassing. I know the real solution is getting myself and or my husband into therapy. That will take time. But how do I keep my hormones in check when I’m working with this guy tomorrow?
—Unwanted Co-worker Crush