I am struggling with how to write a thank you note for my parents. I had a small destination wedding (23 guests, including the wedding party) and my Dad did end up flying with my niece, and paid for the restaurant bill (he offered about a month before the wedding), which doubled as our reception. According to my Dad, my mom didn't come because it was "too far to drive". It was a 2 day drive to get to the destination and, ultimately, he ended up flying up with my niece. I'm pretty sure she just didn't want to attend, as she has since talked about taking a trip to another city that would be a 3 day drive to get there. If I assume that she
has undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder, then I can assume she
has no empathy and doesn't care who's feelings are hurt by her actions. During the entire time from engagement leading up to the wedding and even afterwards, the only thing she ever asked me about my wedding was where I got my invitations made and when will the pictures be ready so I can mail them to my family in Germany. There was no "I wish I could have made it," or "How was it?" or "The wedding looked beautiful," etc. I'm over it now, but at the time, it was very hard talking about my wedding plans to others (nonrelatives) who were more excited about the wedding plans than my parents, who barely acknowledged that I was getting married at all. (Just fyi...I've never been married before, so it's not like I'm getting married a 2nd time and they are attending a 2nd marriage.) Up until about 3 months before the wedding, I wasn't even sure my Dad would walk me down the aisle because I was getting no signs from him that he was planning to come.
Anyways, my thank you note has both parents' names pre-addressed on the envelope, but in my heart, I feel like I just want to thank my Dad for coming, for paying for the restaurant bill, and for the additional check he wrote afterward (because he wanted to help a little more with the wedding bill.) I've thought about beginning with "Dear Mom and Dad," and writing a generic line like "Thank for your support throughout the years," so that my Mom is acknowledged, but then also adding, "Dad, thank you for making the trip out to the Tetons to attend....." Do you think this would be acceptable? If not, what would you suggest? I would appreciate any opinions on the matter. This has been the hardest thank you note for me, but I need to get it out.
Thanks in advance for your help.