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Wedding Woes

Oh your mom is a peach.

Dear Prudence,

I recently found out that I have to get a common, outpatient surgery. My problem is not life-threatening, but it does need to be taken care of, and my doctor recommended that I have the surgery this year if I can. The earliest date available is Dec. 24.

I told my mother, and my parents have generously offered to come up and stay to help me after the surgery. But my mother’s first reaction was, “What about all the complications that happen around the holidays? I don’t mean to scare you, but I’d just be so worried about the staffing at the hospital around that time. It’s just something to really consider.” She did scare me, and now I don’t know what to do. Am I being crazy here wanting to get the surgery on a holiday eve? Am I being selfish for basically ruining Christmas?

—Holiday Woes

Re: Oh your mom is a peach.

  • is the mom referring to regular holiday staffing?
    If so, I mean they wouldn't book someone when understaffed.

    LW needs to just call hospital and ask. Rule out question.
  • Oh LW, don't listen to your mother.  Listen to the medical professionals.

    My mother was not a team player for this surgery.  It was difficult to handle it with grace, especially as she kept trying to answer medical questions for me to the doctors/nurses (who handle it professionally) and stepped on K's toes quite a few times.  I still haven't decided what, if anything, I'm going to say/do about it.  It came from a place of love and compassion, but it was still a bitch.
  • Mom's trying to come from a place of love.   Talk to the doctor about this.   If it's outpatient the LW isn't going to have an overnight.   And while hospitals may not over-schedule over the holidays it's not like they're closed.    
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