I have known “Jenny” since we were in diapers. We are in our early 30s now. I am a queer career woman. Jenny is married to the love of her life and trying to have kids, which isn’t going so great. I have tried to be her supportive BFF here, but recently I think Jenny crossed a line.
We were with friends and in the middle of a box of wine. Someone asked Jenny what she planned to do if she couldn’t get pregnant. Jenny reached over and patted my stomach and said, “Here is my back up plan.” I tried to laugh it off, but Jenny told she was dead serious: She expects me to be her surrogate if she can’t get pregnant.
I reminded Jenny I don’t want kids. She said, essentially, “What does that matter? It would be my kid, and it isn’t like you are using the ‘plumbing properly.’ ” I understand Jenny was pretty sloshed at that point, but I felt uncomfortable then, and I still do. I have never wanted kids and find pregnancy more than a little of a horror show. I have never even jokingly offered to bear Jenny’s kids. How do I start this conversation?
—Not Your Baby-Maker