It's Happening Again -- Monday

VarunaTT

Blerg.  

This weekend was boring.  I had my car battery fixed, saw Just Mercy (excellent, highly recommend) and Knives Out (I'm truly indifferent to this, I didn't think it was paced well and the social commentary over the whodunit ended up just wasting the majority of the cast), had a couple of dinners out, grocery shopped, and did laundry.  Also, I need K to come back home.

SSDD for today.  How was every one else's weekend?

charlotte989875

But why does it have to be Monday again?! 

Weekend was good. Trevor Noah was awesome! Seriously so funny. Definitely had some political stuff but it was all hilarious and really well done. And not all political either which was good. A lesser comedian would have botched what he was trying to do but he was fantastic. 

Saturday and Sunday we’re quiet, lazy days. I was sick most of yesterday so that was a bummer. I napped and watched TV. Gearing up for another super busy work week and I’m already ready for Friday. 

banana468

Weekend was good!

We went to a great birthday party for a family member on DH's side who turned 40.   The kids played with a ton of their 2nd cousins (DH has 21 1st cousins on one side and many of them have 3+ kids so it's a super fun group to hang out).    Chiquita played on a zip line, climbed a tree and I'm not sure what else.   It was a blast.  

Then I drove home and Sunday DH took my car to the car wash.   I am normally not the driver but as we arrived at departure time DH looked at me with unfocused eyes and asked me if I was OK to drive.  CLEARLY our options were to have FIL or me (we drove him) drive or else we would be spending the night.   On the way home I witnessed the expert aim DH has as he put his head out the window repeatedly and let's just say...he improved the state of Massachusetts and my IL's driveway.     

We got home and I talked to Chiquita about how she didn't think she slept in the car but she definitely did.   I said, "Did you know it started raining on the way home?" and her response was, "Yeah I did.   My window was getting cloudy (she sat on the same side of the car as DH) but Chiquito's was just wet."  I nearly snorted at the dining room table. 

Chiquita has a big project due this week and I'm struggling with her sass combined with an inability to get her school work organized and done.   I know I'm not alone but it made for a frustrating morning to see a slip in her backpack that said, "Homework not turned in on Friday."  I have to start giving her less responsibility and it's not the direction I wanted to go in. 

levioosa

I’m still recovering from the flu. I think I slept like 30 hours this weekend. I have a sneaking suspicion I’m getting an ear infection as a complication and I’m a little miffed about it. I’m still in a funk over the altercation with my boss last week. I wasn’t dreading coming to work or losing my job before. Now I am. So that’s a nice fun change. 

Otherwise SSDD. I’m trying to put a genuine effort into reading more this year. I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish the book I started last night though. It is so repetitive. I’m 120 pages in and there’s like 400 pages left. I don’t know if it will be worth my time and it seems like the reviews on it are split. 

cupcait927

@VarunaTT when does K come back?

@charlotte989875 Ugh I'm so sorry you were sick. Being sick is one thing, being sick when you're pregnant is so much worse. 

@levioosa What book are you reading?

Super lazy weekend for me. I didn't leave the house once until I went and picked up groceries at 5 pm yesterday (which was a shitshow and I should've just sent H). We (mainly H) did more work on the nursery and I think we're just about set. 

Not feeling this work week at all. I slept like crap last night which has translated into no motivation today. H actually had the audacity to complain that he has to work all 5 days this week - he hasn't worked a full week since the week before Christmas, and he has a 4 day week next week and the week after we have the baby. He's taking a month off when she's born so for the first two months of 2020, he'll work one 5 day workweek. I have no sympathy for him.

CharmedPam

@VarunaTT, I was on the fence about knives Out too.  I expected more tbh.
We saw the Grudge this weekend and then I woke up today and was pretty shocked.  Not one Oscar nod!  Since I’m from “chicago” a Chicago article:

https://abc7chicago.com/5830268/

Ummm how is Tom Hanks supporting actor? (Never seen the movie)

VarunaTT

levioosa said:

Otherwise SSDD. I’m trying to put a genuine effort into reading more this year. I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish the book I started last night though. It is so repetitive. I’m 120 pages in and there’s like 400 pages left. I don’t know if it will be worth my time and it seems like the reviews on it are split. 

I'm using this Book Riot "Read Harder" challenge for guidance.  They also put links into the categories, so you can find interesting stuffs to read:  https://bookriot.com/2019/12/03/2020-read-harder-challenge/

I've already read 2 things that I probably wouldn't have picked up that were really good.

VarunaTT

CharmedPam said:

@VarunaTT, I was on the fence about knives Out too.  I expected more tbh.
We saw the Grudge this weekend and then I woke up today and was pretty shocked.  Not one Oscar nod!  Since I’m from “chicago” a Chicago article:

https://abc7chicago.com/5830268/

Ummm how is Tom Hanks supporting actor? (Never seen the movie)

I haven't seen it either, but I was confused how a movie about Mr. Rogers gets a supporting actor nod for the man playing...Mr. Rogers?  IDK.

I'm really angry that Brad Pitt didn't get a nomination for Ad Astra.  I think that's one of the best movies I saw last year and he did an amazing job.  There aren't even any technical ones for that movie that I can find which is bullshit for the special effects and sound.

K is back Thursday, but I think it's fairly late.  Full on stropping going on over here.    Especially since it was ice and snow this weekend, while they're in Hawaii!  

OliveOilsMom

I haven't seen it, but I do know that Tom Hanks is only supporting because the movie focuses on how Mr. Rodgers impacted the life of the journalist who is following him for a story.  So the journalist (Matthrew Rhys) is actually the lead actor.  

Cupcait - Are you not able to take off time before the baby?  If DD had stayed in until her due date and not come a month early, I would have been eligible for 2 weeks off prior to baby under my short term disability plan.

Our weekend was pretty good.  H was sick on Friday and Saturday, but I went out and got him better medicine and he started feeling much better on Saturday afternoon.  We got the outside Christmas decorations down, but still working on the inside stuff.  DD and I went to Church on Saturday and left H home.  Sunday H was feeling way better and we shaved down the master bathroom door, since it still would catch our rug from time to time.  It was so nice outside, we then went over and fixed the side fence where we had removed it to let our tree guys in to do work.  Then I grilled for dinner!

H will go to karate tonight, so I will pick up DD.  Then it will be home to make a quick dinner and find something fun for us to do, since DD always expects something fun for us on Monday nights now!  For the last few weeks, she has been asking to make another gingerbread house!  

mrsconn23

Weekend was OK. 

Highlights:  Lunch, shopping, and Little Women on Saturday with my sisters.  We had newish friends over yesterday. It was a really successful hang out and we all want to do it again. 

Lowlights: The weather fucked up my sinuses again and am back to being bleh, cranky, and sad.  Also, mom ended up in the ER on Saturday.  She didn't get admitted, but she's on an Rx now and supposedly slowly improving.  There's some questions about stuff showing up in more spots, but stuff is very muddled at the moment. 

I think my sisters and I are going to my parent's house tonight to talk to them about the flow of information and other stuff to try to gain some clarity regarding the situation. There's just a lot going on. Plainly, this sucks.  I'm dreading the sit-down because I don't want to upset my parents, but something has to be said for everyone's sake. 

So anyway, blerg. Monday.  

short+sassy

Overall, this weekend was pretty good.  But we had our first showings for the house with the tenant I evicted last month (not the duplexes we are working on), on Sunday.  No one showed up !  I had less of a response to my ad than normal.  But still, we had three appointments scheduled and a few more at the last minute that I'd PM'ed on FB to swing by between 1:00-1:30.  We have some more lined up for Tues.  Plus this was the first time I'd seen the house, since my H and cleaned out the tenant's stuff about three weeks ago.  It's a bummer, but I also just can't trust my H when he says a unit is "move-in" ready and everything is done.  I even know better!  Because this always happens (sigh).  I have a punch-list of a dozen items that were overlooked.  None of them major or time-consuming, but need to be done before a new tenant moves in.  Stuff like there are two outlet covers missing, one kitchen cabinet pull is missing, one of the smoke detectors is sitting on the washer because it needs a new battery.  A bit of additional cleaning needed, though the vast majority is completed (phew).

Random thought to myself.  Did I buy that ceiling fan or was it here when I bought the property?  It looks old and dingy.  Though I think I did buy it, just four years ago.  I don't like it.  What was I thinking? lol.

But the big goings-on today?  National Championship college football game!  LSU vs. Clemson.  Right here in River City*, ie New Orleans.  Geaux LSU!  I don't even care much about or follow college ball, but it's hard to not get caught up in the excitement.  About 20-25% of my co-workers have LSU paraphernalia in their office or cube, year-round, lol.

I'm thinking about leaving work two hours early, at 3:00.  Simply to help preserve my sanity.  Because, to get home, I either have to run the gauntlet past the Superdome (that's where the game is) or take a longer and alternative route home that will also probably be much more trafficky than usual.  I drove past the Superdome this morning at about 6:50AM.  The traffic was already worse for that time of day as compared to what it normally is, lol.  Primarily a major uptick in delivery trucks roaming all around.

*For those of you who did not catch this really obscure reference.  That is a line from one of the main songs in the Music Man.  And for those of you who did catch it, I am extraordinarily impressed!     

banana468

short+sassy said:

O
But the big goings-on today?  National Championship college football game!  LSU vs. Clemson.  Right here in River City*, ie New Orleans.  Geaux LSU!  I don't even care much about or follow college ball, but it's hard to not get caught up in the excitement.  About 20-25% of my co-workers have LSU paraphernalia in their office or cube, year-round, lol.



*For those of you who did not catch this really obscure reference.  That is a line from one of the main songs in the Music Man.  And for those of you who did catch it, I am extraordinarily impressed!     

Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool!

Also, one of DH's favorites is the Simpson's episode parody where the song was about monorails. 

MissKittyDanger

Our plans to get things done got quashed ....

Saturday BabyKitten and M went to their first swimming lesson She enjoyed, but was definitely a bit nervous at the beginning. It's a pool {intended for kids, so M said he could be on his knees and still not be submerged - he's about 5'9" fyi} but I personally think if they did kind of that beach idea where she could wander in, that would have done better for her. We've done the beach before many times.
Anyways, apparently they got her to go underwater 2x and she kicked her legs a bit M says it's as cute as you think it is lol

I expected her to be tired right away, but we managed to get her to have some lunch and crashed about an hour earlier for her nap.
I planned on studying, but I got to MAYBE page 3 and fell asleep.

Sunday was crappy weather so we all stayed in. The plan was to finish her closet, but M literally procrastinated until he couldn't do it within enough time.
I'm so annoyed with him right now about this.
I told him there is no options. He's doing it this weekend between other stuff we have to do.

This week is a whole lot of SSDD - exam on Thursday, and having issues with the system. So that's great.

VarunaTT

mrsconn23 said:

I think my sisters and I are going to my parent's house tonight to talk to them about the flow of information and other stuff to try to gain some clarity regarding the situation. There's just a lot going on. Plainly, this sucks.  I'm dreading the sit-down because I don't want to upset my parents, but something has to be said for everyone's sake. 

You guys are smart and I know you've probably got some ideas, but JIC:

When my mom was in an out of town ICU with my dad for almost 2 months, it was really getting to me to be the person in charge of all communication flow and having multiple phone calls/day and always having to talk about the hospital and mom.  I had a meltdown, so the family and I ended up setting up a phone call tree.  Dad called me and then I called one family member and one friend when there was new news, they called the next person, etc.  Phone calls did.not flow up.  I really don't even know what the rest of the tree looked like, I had my 3 calls and I was able to handle things a lot better.

The other thing I would recommend is maybe having an unrelated person go to all of the appointments, if possible.  It's really good to have someone who can really listen and take notes and ask questions that isn't also dealing with the shock and pain of whatever news is being given.

And exercise this stuff all the time:  https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407-story.html  If your family needs to circle the wagons around itself, DO IT.  

short+sassy

banana468 said:

short+sassy said:

O
But the big goings-on today?  National Championship college football game!  LSU vs. Clemson.  Right here in River City*, ie New Orleans.  Geaux LSU!  I don't even care much about or follow college ball, but it's hard to not get caught up in the excitement.  About 20-25% of my co-workers have LSU paraphernalia in their office or cube, year-round, lol.



*For those of you who did not catch this really obscure reference.  That is a line from one of the main songs in the Music Man.  And for those of you who did catch it, I am extraordinarily impressed!     

Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool!

Also, one of DH's favorites is the Simpson's episode parody where the song was about monorails. 

I also can't hear the city name "Gary, Indiana", without that Music Man song going through my head, lol.

Here are the other songs that have scarred me for life when I just hear the name of the city:

Cincinnati = theme song to WKRP in Cincinnati
Chattanooga = "Chattanooga Choo-Choo"
St. Louis = "Meet Me in St. Louis".  This one I've cut down to only about half the time I hear the city's name, lol.
Texarkana = "Eastbound and Down" (Smokey and the Bandit).  Fortunately, one rarely hears the city name Texarkana.  But there is a line from that song that is, "The boys are thirsty in Atlanta, but I'm stuck here in Texarkana."

flantastic

Hi all. I'm dead tired and haven't much to say, but wanted you to know I'm not gone, just mostly lurking. A two month old baby will do that.

Back to work as of last week, because maternity leave policies in America are garbage. But the intellectual work is nice.

banana468

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

short+sassy said:

O
But the big goings-on today?  National Championship college football game!  LSU vs. Clemson.  Right here in River City*, ie New Orleans.  Geaux LSU!  I don't even care much about or follow college ball, but it's hard to not get caught up in the excitement.  About 20-25% of my co-workers have LSU paraphernalia in their office or cube, year-round, lol.



*For those of you who did not catch this really obscure reference.  That is a line from one of the main songs in the Music Man.  And for those of you who did catch it, I am extraordinarily impressed!     

Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool!

Also, one of DH's favorites is the Simpson's episode parody where the song was about monorails. 

I also can't hear the city name "Gary, Indiana", without that Music Man song going through my head, lol.

Here are the other songs that have scarred me for life when I just hear the name of the city:

Cincinnati = theme song to WKRP in Cincinnati
Chattanooga = "Chattanooga Choo-Choo"
St. Louis = "Meet Me in St. Louis".  This one I've cut down to only about half the time I hear the city's name, lol.
Texarkana = "Eastbound and Down" (Smokey and the Bandit).  Fortunately, one rarely hears the city name Texarkana.  But there is a line from that song that is, "The boys are thirsty in Atlanta, but I'm stuck here in Texarkana."

What about this? 

OliveOilsMom

MrsConn - Sorry to hear your mom took a bit of a downturn after she was feeling so good!  Maybe you can start a group text chat?  And if possible, during a meeting with a doctor, either you or one of your sisters could call in and listen on speaker phone?  Then after the doctor visit, the listening sister could give an update to the group text?  I'm sorry that you even have to face this.  Your mom is in my prayers.

cupcait927

@OliveOilsMom I could take PTO if I wanted before the baby comes, but I'd rather save it for after she's here. I get 4 weeks per year (includes sick time and vacation) and I'm taking 2 during my maternity leave (supplementing the rest with Paid Family Leave) so I can have 12 weeks off. That way I will still have 2 more weeks to use during the rest of the year.

Unfortunately the only Short Term Disability available through my employer is NYS DBL and it pays close to nothing and doesn't kick in until after you have the baby. So I'm not even bothering with taking that time because it's only slightly better than being out unpaid for two months.

banana468

cupcait927 said:

@OliveOilsMom I could take PTO if I wanted before the baby comes, but I'd rather save it for after she's here. I get 4 weeks per year (includes sick time and vacation) and I'm taking 2 during my maternity leave (supplementing the rest with Paid Family Leave) so I can have 12 weeks off. That way I will still have 2 more weeks to use during the rest of the year.

Unfortunately the only Short Term Disability available through my employer is NYS DBL and it pays close to nothing and doesn't kick in until after you have the baby. So I'm not even bothering with taking that time because it's only slightly better than being out unpaid for two months.

Could you look into getting your own STD not through an employer through a company like Colonial?  It wouldn't do much now but if there's another STD event it could help. 

cupcait927

banana468 said:

cupcait927 said:

@OliveOilsMom I could take PTO if I wanted before the baby comes, but I'd rather save it for after she's here. I get 4 weeks per year (includes sick time and vacation) and I'm taking 2 during my maternity leave (supplementing the rest with Paid Family Leave) so I can have 12 weeks off. That way I will still have 2 more weeks to use during the rest of the year.

Unfortunately the only Short Term Disability available through my employer is NYS DBL and it pays close to nothing and doesn't kick in until after you have the baby. So I'm not even bothering with taking that time because it's only slightly better than being out unpaid for two months.

Could you look into getting your own STD not through an employer through a company like Colonial?  It wouldn't do much now but if there's another STD event it could help. 

I've considered it. It would be pricey but worth considering. If NYS hadn't implemented Paid Family Leave a few years ago, I definitely would've looked into a policy for myself outside of my employer. I'm still salty about my former company instituting maternity leave with 100% pay right after they sold our division to my now-employer. Employees had been asking for it for years and of course they put it in after I'm gone and actually could use it.

mrsconn23

VarunaTT said:

mrsconn23 said:

I think my sisters and I are going to my parent's house tonight to talk to them about the flow of information and other stuff to try to gain some clarity regarding the situation. There's just a lot going on. Plainly, this sucks.  I'm dreading the sit-down because I don't want to upset my parents, but something has to be said for everyone's sake. 

You guys are smart and I know you've probably got some ideas, but JIC:

When my mom was in an out of town ICU with my dad for almost 2 months, it was really getting to me to be the person in charge of all communication flow and having multiple phone calls/day and always having to talk about the hospital and mom.  I had a meltdown, so the family and I ended up setting up a phone call tree.  Dad called me and then I called one family member and one friend when there was new news, they called the next person, etc.  Phone calls did.not flow up.  I really don't even know what the rest of the tree looked like, I had my 3 calls and I was able to handle things a lot better.

The other thing I would recommend is maybe having an unrelated person go to all of the appointments, if possible.  It's really good to have someone who can really listen and take notes and ask questions that isn't also dealing with the shock and pain of whatever news is being given.

And exercise this stuff all the time:  https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407-story.html  If your family needs to circle the wagons around itself, DO IT.  

Thanks.  I'm sending you a PM. 

kvruns

@cupcait927 I need you to teach me all about NY PFL/paid sick leave in the next 24 hours. Have to have a call about it (and CA PSL....ugh) with a client tomorrow and I'm just like well I know a very high level overview but don't get into the weeds since we're not in either of those states. I'm dreading the call since I have to pretend I know what I'm talking about  

ILoveBeachMusic

flantastic said:

Hi all. I'm dead tired and haven't much to say, but wanted you to know I'm not gone, just mostly lurking. A two month old baby will do that.

Back to work as of last week, because maternity leave policies in America are garbage. But the intellectual work is nice.

Glad to "see" you back here! I know that little guy and his big sister are keeping you busy (and tired). Hope all is going well.

cupcait927

@kvruns I can tell you everything you need to know! I can also tell you where you can find an awesome resource - go to https://pfl.shelterpoint.com/. This carrier has an ABC guide to NYS PFL that is like my bible when my employer groups have questions. If you click on PFL Resources, and then scroll down you'll see a link for the ABC guide updated for 2020. Highly recommend looking through it to prep for your call. And of course I can help answer any questions you have

levioosa

@cupcait927 the book is Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. The premise was good but I just can’t handle the repetition. And the protagonist isn’t even aware of it! 

@VarunaTT thanks for the recommendation! 

@mrsconn23 It’s a difficult conversation to have but one that will be best for the family in the long run. Everyone wants information but there has to be a flow. *hugs*  We’re dealing with something similar with my grandparents. They don’t want to worry anyone, so we find out after the fact that something has happened. But then they don’t want us to tell my aunt (she’s a stress ball) which isn’t fair either. We’re trying to impress on them that they need to tell someone, and then we can work on supporting them, notifying other family members. 

kvruns

thanks @cupcait927 I'll take a look at it. I have a couple of white papers I reference on occassion. I can manage my way through questions but a call with lots of questions is never good!

kvruns

one more - any good resources on NY disability coverage? 

charlotte989875

cupcait927 said:

@kvruns I can tell you everything you need to know! I can also tell you where you can find an awesome resource - go to https://pfl.shelterpoint.com/. This carrier has an ABC guide to NYS PFL that is like my bible when my employer groups have questions. If you click on PFL Resources, and then scroll down you'll see a link for the ABC guide updated for 2020. Highly recommend looking through it to prep for your call. And of course I can help answer any questions you have

Thank you for this!! I have to call HR soon to figure out my options and this is super helpful. I’m really lucky because we get 12 paid weeks but I want to know what additional options I have if I want to take more time, either before or after. 

Sounds like you had a nice, lazy weekend! 

Being sick while pregnant sucks, although I’m pretty sure this is half pregnancy sickness half actual sickness. The cold is just dragging and I had about her bad bout of nausea last night. I was hoping I was done with this at 11 weeks but I guess not. 

cupcait927

@kvruns this link https://www.aboutcentury.com/documentlibrary.aspx?ID=19577 will get you an ABC guide from Shelterpoint about NYS DBL. It's from 2015 but nothing has really changed. 

@charlotte989875 You're welcome! I You're entitled to 10 weeks in 2020 at any point within the first 12 months of baby's birth. Plus your H can take it as well and it doesn't have to run concurrent with you. H is taking two weeks the first month I'm off (along with a week of paternity leave and a week of vacation) and then he'll take his last 8 weeks when I go back to work. It'll be nice to have him home for the first month, and then also be able to push off daycare a little bit.

kvruns

thanks again!!