Wedding Woes

Just wow. Time to end the "friendship" with Jenny

My old friend “Jenny” has been driving herself crazy with her wedding. My partner and I RSVP’d but Jenny asked me if my partner would mind staying home since the wedding list was “overbooked.” We are not married but have been together 10 years. But we agreed. Only I have learned from other people that Jenny has made this same request, but only of those who are queer. My partner gets asked to stay home but a fellow friend’s new girlfriend of three months is coming. My partner is hurt and I am outraged. We considered ourselves close to Jenny. Three years ago, we took off vacation days to help her move across state lines! We haven’t really seen each other since, but we have kept in touch with email and social media. I’d rather Jenny had the courage to be honest about the bigotry than make up a story about being overbooked. Is this worth confronting her over or should I just decline and cut this relationship off?
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Re: Just wow. Time to end the "friendship" with Jenny

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, bye Jenny. Also, I would confront her. 

    short+sassysparklepants41OliveOilsMom
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Bye Felicia
    short+sassy
  • This should have been a hard, "sorrynotsorry, Jenny, I'm not attending without my SO," to begin with.  But to then find out that this is only being told to same sex couples is completely outrageous.  I would be ending the friendship and telling Jenny exactly why.

    I feel so bad for the LW and their SO.  This has to feel like such a betrayal of someone they thought was a close friend.
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    ILoveBeachMusic
  • Jenny needs to be called out and publicly shamed.  This type of shit does not fly anymore.

  • Send Jenny here, well tell her what’s up. 

    But also, you don’t need people like Jenny in your life, LW. 
    short+sassy
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Hey Jenny, two spots just opened up for you. 

    short+sassycharlotte989875ei34
  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 23
    Tell Jenny you will not be attending her wedding and tell her exactly why. 

    Stop being friends with Jenny because she has no respect for you for or any queer couples.

    Take the money you would've put toward a wedding gift/attending the wedding and go do something awesome with your partner. 
    image
    OliveOilsMomMobKaz
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Jenny needs to be called out and publicly shamed.  This type of shit does not fly anymore.
    Yes. Jenny can fuck off. LW, this isn’t a friend, and I’m sorry for the hatred and bigotry. 


    image
  • I'd make really sure of this info, by asking around a lot and then finally asking Jenny.  B/c it's a friendship ending sort of thing to me.  If it is true, I'd tell Jenny I wasn't going and I'd tell her why.

    If Jenny tried to open up a conversation, I'd probably send her some links/resources, but I wouldn't build that bridge back.  It's okay to not rebuild bridges sometimes.
    MobKaz
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Assuming this is true, Jenny needs some lessons in both etiquette and friendship. Unfortunately, about the only way you can administer them is to turn down her invitation. She killed your friendship.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 26
    VarunaTT said:
    I'd make really sure of this info, by asking around a lot and then finally asking Jenny.  B/c it's a friendship ending sort of thing to me.  If it is true, I'd tell Jenny I wasn't going and I'd tell her why.

    If Jenny tried to open up a conversation, I'd probably send her some links/resources, but I wouldn't build that bridge back.  It's okay to not rebuild bridges sometimes.
    I might find myself being a total brat and waiting until the night before the wedding to tell her I also suddenly “overbooked” and I need to also “take back” my RSVP.  She can eat the cost of my plate.
    VarunaTTOliveOilsMom
  • "Hey Jenny - if you're hurting for space that much, the more I think about it, (depending on how "close"), we'll both just come to the ceremony and skip out on the reception!"...
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