Mom Cancelled Due to Coronavirus fears and Groomsmen May Be Next

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822

I'm a teacher in Thailand and am supposed to be marrying my Thai partner in early April. It's been tougher than expected to get people on my side to attend -- even those who previously expressed interest in visiting before have declined for various reasons. At this point I've only managed to get four groomsmen out of five, and the wedding is in less than four weeks. Now we've just found out that my mother is cancelling her trip due to the corona virus panic. I'm somewhat sympathetic because of her age and mobility, but my fiance is devastated. Now there is uncertainty about the groomsmen as well due to flight cancellations and potential quarantines. I've brought up the possibility of delaying the wedding, but it's almost impossible because we've already paid thousands of dollars to make this happen. Now I'm just wondering. How can I make the best out of this bad situation? Any thoughts?

OliveOilsMom

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822 said:

I suppose I'm one of the few males on this site. But anyway, here goes: I'm a teacher in Thailand and am supposed to be marrying my Thai partner in early April. It's been tougher than expected to get people on my side to attend -- even those who previously expressed interest in visiting before have declined for various reasons. At this point I've only managed to get four groomsmen out of five, and the wedding is in less than four weeks. Now we've just found out that my mother is cancelling her trip due to the corona virus panic. I'm somewhat sympathetic because of her age and mobility, but my fiance is devastated. Now there is uncertainty about the groomsmen as well due to flight cancellations and potential quarantines. I've brought up the possibility of delaying the wedding, but it's almost impossible because we've already paid thousands of dollars to make this happen. Now I'm just wondering. How can I make the best out of this bad situation? Any thoughts?

I'm sorry you are going through all this.  How did your FI respond to postponing the wedding?  If they would be ok with it, then consider it further. Did you actually contact the venue and ask if you can push off the date?  At this time, your venue may agree to move your date to later in the year without you losing any money.  They can't say no, if you don't ask - but they also can't agree to move it!

If you cannot postpone, just continue on with your plans.  Be upset about people unable to attend, but also provide them some grace in making this decision.  They too will probably be losing money by not attending.  Set up a webcam or Facebook live event, so that people who could not attend are able to remotely attend.

In your shoes, try to make the best of it and focus on the fact that you are marrying your FI!  That is the most important part!

downtondiva

How would you and your FI feel about postponing the wedding? If you're both okay with it, contact your venue immediately to find out if that's an option. The sooner you do this, the more likely they may be to accommodate you. 

If it turns out that isn't an option, and you don't want to lose that money, unfortunately you will probably have to get married without your mom and some other VIP's in attendance. I like @OliveOilsMom's idea of setting up something to allow people who couldn't attend in person to see you get married. And as disappointing as it would be, try not to hold it against people if they don't come. This is a scary time to be traveling, especially for the elderly and anyone with chronic health conditions. I'm sure this isn't an easy decision for anyone.

missJeanLouise

I am an expat too and 100% understand how difficult and heartbreaking it is when your family doesn't prioritize visiting, especially for a big life event like a wedding. My sister and dad have been saying they are going to visit for 4 years! They wanted to come for the birth of my baby, guess who is 18 months old and has never met his aunt or grandfather? We even offered to pay for their flights, still nothing. 

I am sorry your wedding is coinsiding with this horrible outbreak. The PPs above gave good advice here. I know a lot of airlines are waiving change fees for rescheduling flights during this time. I feel like more and more companies are being lenient during these times. Idk how things are in Thailand but here large companies really respond to being called out on Twitter and FB. It's stupid but i know people it has worked for.

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822

Thanks for your replies. We're in a 'holding pattern' at the moment. Even some local people are hesitant to attend a public event like a wedding. Although the wedding is only 23 days away, I don't think some people will make up their minds until the last minute. I'm thinking about trying to extend the RSVP date for another week. Also, we're meeting with the wedding coordinator this evening to finalize wedding details. (She speaks Thai, not English, so my fiance has to do the 'talking'.) Hopefully she can provide us with more information regarding a possible delay and re-scheduling, if necessary.

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822

Yeah, I think some people have a mental block about traveling overseas for anything. In their minds they think it's simply impossible. An insurmountable task. But people who travel have a 'just do it' attitude. I hope your relatives will come eventually! Maybe after the pandemic has subsided.

climbingsingle

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822 said:

Thanks for your replies. We're in a 'holding pattern' at the moment. Even some local people are hesitant to attend a public event like a wedding. Although the wedding is only 23 days away, I don't think some people will make up their minds until the last minute. I'm thinking about trying to extend the RSVP date for another week. Also, we're meeting with the wedding coordinator this evening to finalize wedding details. (She speaks Thai, not English, so my fiance has to do the 'talking'.) Hopefully she can provide us with more information regarding a possible delay and re-scheduling, if necessary.

Did you just respond to yourself? 

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822 said:

Yeah, I think some people have a mental block about traveling overseas for anything. In their minds they think it's simply impossible. An insurmountable task. But people who travel have a 'just do it' attitude. I hope your relatives will come eventually! Maybe after the pandemic has subsided.

kvruns

I think the second was a reply to MJL.

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822

Correct. I hit 'reply' to missJeanLouise and it just made a new message in this thread. I was not 'replying to myself'.

climbingsingle

Ah, OK. Was a bit confused. 

missJeanLouise

knottie1fe9ee9f59763822 said:

Correct. I hit 'reply' to missJeanLouise and it just made a new message in this thread. I was not 'replying to myself'.

Use the Quote button. Idk what the reply button is even there for. 

How are things going? 

diandchloe

We're in the same boat.  We're supposed to be getting married at the end of May.  Her family is in China, and currently are not allowed to come to the US.  Our officiant is coming from the UK and may also not be allowed to enter the country soon. The wedding is supposed to be in Washington, which means it may be a banned activity in a week or two.  Given the date, the virus may have slowed down in time, so we're playing the wait-and-see game.  To us, the most the important thing to consider is how to reduce the spread of the virus.  Even if we lose all the money we've invested in this, it's worth every penny if it keeps one person from getting seriously ill or dying.