Wedding Woes

Wednesday

Hump Day.  Yay.  How's everyone?  I'm grouchy following a ridiculous spat with H.  Can someone explain the Corona-related baby boom this December jokes?  I'm so done with being around H this often :|
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Re: Wednesday

  • ei34 said:
    Hump Day.  Yay.  How's everyone?  I'm grouchy following a ridiculous spat with H.  Can someone explain the Corona-related baby boom this December jokes?  I'm so done with being around H this often :|
    Maybe it's for those who are getting it all done or for those who find that in stress this is what helps reduce it? 

    For me....this level of stress is making me need a back rub.

    JUST.   A.   BACK.   RUB. 
  • I’m not looking forward to walking into work. I feel like I’m taking this hour by hour at this point. 


    image
  • levioosa said:
    I’m not looking forward to walking into work. I feel like I’m taking this hour by hour at this point. 
    There is a podcast I like called "terrible, thanks for asking" and an episode titled "the next ten minutes." It was a beautiful, heartbreaking story. Long story short, it talks about dealing with life for just the next 10 minutes and I find it a useful tool.

    @ei34 my DH has been out of work since the end of February. I am So ready for him to go back to work. Unfortunately, I think he will still be home even when he starts work again. 

    @banana468 I feel you. Are spas/salons closed where you are? Not saying you should go to one, just curious. I guess there are some select, government inspected, salons open here but I will just wait, thank you. 

    We are coming to an end of our second week of isolation. We aren't even supposed to go outside for exercise. I was hoping that was all we would need but apparently not. The expat group was talking about cancelling all of their kids' summer camps/ plans. It was disappointing.
  • @missJeanLouise all salons/spas in CT are considered non essential and are closed.   The salon (and spa) that I go to has been closed since the 3rd week of March and I believe the earliest they may open is May 1st and that's based on what the State of CT allows.  We are projected to peak on the 20th of this month so I am doubtful that May 1 will be when they re-open.

    So now I ask DH for a back rub and ONLY a back rub! 
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ugh @levioosa good luck at work
    Lol @banana468 YES to a back-rub-and-nothing-else.  TMI but H and I have actually been having our normal amount of sex this last month...I just don't get the "whoops we've been doing it so often we accidentally conceived".
  • ei34 said:
    Ugh @levioosa good luck at work
    Lol @banana468 YES to a back-rub-and-nothing-else.  TMI but H and I have actually been having our normal amount of sex this last month...I just don't get the "whoops we've been doing it so often we accidentally conceived".
    Yeah I don't get that either.   I also use NFP so I have a pretty good idea of when I ovulated so the idea of "how did THAT" happen should hopefully not come up. 
  • @ei34 I saw a funny meme/post that was like the only baby boom that is happening is for first time children. Anyone that has kids already would be like stay away from me, we're not having more kids!
  • banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    Ugh @levioosa good luck at work
    Lol @banana468 YES to a back-rub-and-nothing-else.  TMI but H and I have actually been having our normal amount of sex this last month...I just don't get the "whoops we've been doing it so often we accidentally conceived".
    Yeah I don't get that either.   I also use NFP so I have a pretty good idea of when I ovulated so the idea of "how did THAT" happen should hopefully not come up. 
    kvruns said:
    @ei34 I saw a funny meme/post that was like the only baby boom that is happening is for first time children. Anyone that has kids already would be like stay away from me, we're not having more kids!
    YES! 

    Also, this is NOT a time that I would want to be pregnant (aside from the whole - it's another kid thing), because I become more nervous when pregnant. 
  • @ei34 The December baby boom {coronials lol} amuses me, especially because like @kvruns said, it'll all be first borns lol
    Who t.f has time to WFH and watch kids?

    Upside to WFH - never late
    Downside to WFH - sleeping in so you're rushing the morning

    BabyKitten woke up and had a hard time going back down. She had a nightmare then a stuck foot, so I went to deal. Then took forever to go do.
    I have this weird uncomfortable spot in my hip/back area {sciatic?} and I can only sleep one way mostly.
    So obv sleeping sucks. I now have a headache.

    Good lord can this end so I can go back to work?
  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    ei34 said:
    Ugh @levioosa good luck at work
    Lol @banana468 YES to a back-rub-and-nothing-else.  TMI but H and I have actually been having our normal amount of sex this last month...I just don't get the "whoops we've been doing it so often we accidentally conceived".
    Yeah I don't get that either.   I also use NFP so I have a pretty good idea of when I ovulated so the idea of "how did THAT" happen should hopefully not come up. 
    kvruns said:
    @ei34 I saw a funny meme/post that was like the only baby boom that is happening is for first time children. Anyone that has kids already would be like stay away from me, we're not having more kids!
    YES! 

    Also, this is NOT a time that I would want to be pregnant (aside from the whole - it's another kid thing), because I become more nervous when pregnant. 
    Take my word for it, it’s sucks. 

    Fun y but I think we might be having more sex since quarantine but that is probably part getting more sleep + second trimester + no other kids. The quarantine babies confuses me tho because I’m so panicked about money (thankfully we both have jobs) and the economy I would not be risking an unintended pregnancy! 
  • I've actually been able to reconnect online to friends in NYC whom I haven't been in contact with since I moved to Houston, so that's one odd (I hate to use the word "benefit") of the quarantine, but it's really cool to be able to do things together with them again, even online.

    Tonight is the first Passover Seder, which I'm looking forward to (I'm supposed to receive a food delivery today and am waiting on a pincushion for them to call me to arrange the delivery). Gonna be online instead of live, which I miss, but....oh well.

    Aside from that, just waiting and working. I miss my local friends and family.
  • Apparently Louisiana extended the Stay-At-Home order until the end of April.  Not surprising, but I'm also not sure when it happened.  Because, God forbid, EITHER of the local news websites I visit on an almost daily basis have a headline about it, smh. 

    One of them mentioned it, in passing, in a different article today.  At least it was a good one.  Louisiana has been flattening its curve.  New Orleans even got a grade of A- in social distancing.  It's nice to finally excel at something, other than food and music, lol.

    I'm trying to focus on whatever positive articles I can find!  Anything that lets me cling to hope there will be an end sooner, rather than later.
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  • @kerbohl Dumb question but which kind did you go with? I've got an appt for consult soon to get one and idk which .... 
  • Not to get all heavy, but I've worked really hard with myself to try and stay present and vulnerable in my relationship with K.  It's just my pattern, thank you rotten childhood.  And all of this crap, is making me have to work hard not to backslide into just shutting down, putting my head down, and barreling through the anxiety and fear from loss of control.  So, K and I have kind of...hm, maybe irritated each other at points, but mostly we really enjoy getting to actually spend some time together.

    K did have to ask me for help about school.  They've been working so hard and for so long.  And this semester is just SCREWED UP.  They admitted they were probably self-sabotaging and needed my help to create a schedule to get through all of the now desk work that has to be done to replace 120 hours of their final clinical.  It's going to be a helluva marathon for the next month, but we got the schedule made and it's doable.  It's going to really suck, but it's doable. I told them I was proud they could recognize the signs and ask for help and that I was here to help all the way through.  And we're both still working (I'm in a split shift so only half of the office is coming in every other day) and have full income.  More and more of my friends are not in the same position.  And, when K does graduate, they're going into the hospital.  So that's scary.  This particular hospital though just finished (in TWO WEEKS) building an old stye ward hospital for covid-19 patients.  I'm so impressed.
  • I don't understand the corona baby boom stuff either. We're child free by choice, but if we were on the fence, nothing about economic uncertainty, hospital crowding and prolonged stress/anxiety would make me think that now is the perfect time to start trying for a baby. I guess more of a reference for people who will run low on protection? IDK. 

    I've been sucked into a really busy couple of days with work. It's been really good to be busy, but so horrible that the reason I'm so busy is the reality of the economic situation. It's really scary to see how quickly companies are going from healthy to, well, not. 

    I'm also back on being pissed off at my state. Our cases went from 5k last Friday to almost 10k today. I think this is a direct result of the governor refusing to issue a stay home order until last week. I hope it's not too late, but I'm afraid it might have been. 
  • I don't understand the corona baby boom stuff either. We're child free by choice, but if we were on the fence, nothing about economic uncertainty, hospital crowding and prolonged stress/anxiety would make me think that now is the perfect time to start trying for a baby. I guess more of a reference for people who will run low on protection? IDK. 

    I've been sucked into a really busy couple of days with work. It's been really good to be busy, but so horrible that the reason I'm so busy is the reality of the economic situation. It's really scary to see how quickly companies are going from healthy to, well, not. 

    I'm also back on being pissed off at my state. Our cases went from 5k last Friday to almost 10k today. I think this is a direct result of the governor refusing to issue a stay home order until last week. I hope it's not too late, but I'm afraid it might have been. 
    Didn't he reopen the beaches too?  

    It's bad enough when we feel like the federal government is failing us at various levels and it's so frustrating when the state government is not helping.   I'm sorry @MyNameIsNot.   That has to be really hard.    You may not have seen my rant but DH's employer is now at 17 cases in their buildings including the company president. 
  • Someone just posted this cartoon on my local NextDoor. We're all sad down here to see our famous Bourbon St. so empty, because it's such a symbol of how upside down life feels.  But this is a cute jpeg to laugh with.



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  • banana468 said:
    I don't understand the corona baby boom stuff either. We're child free by choice, but if we were on the fence, nothing about economic uncertainty, hospital crowding and prolonged stress/anxiety would make me think that now is the perfect time to start trying for a baby. I guess more of a reference for people who will run low on protection? IDK. 

    I've been sucked into a really busy couple of days with work. It's been really good to be busy, but so horrible that the reason I'm so busy is the reality of the economic situation. It's really scary to see how quickly companies are going from healthy to, well, not. 

    I'm also back on being pissed off at my state. Our cases went from 5k last Friday to almost 10k today. I think this is a direct result of the governor refusing to issue a stay home order until last week. I hope it's not too late, but I'm afraid it might have been. 
    Didn't he reopen the beaches too?  

    It's bad enough when we feel like the federal government is failing us at various levels and it's so frustrating when the state government is not helping.   I'm sorry @MyNameIsNot.   That has to be really hard.    You may not have seen my rant but DH's employer is now at 17 cases in their buildings including the company president. 
    He did, and the state parks. He's an idiot. He does not care how many people get sick or die.

    I missed about your DH. Is he WFH consistently now? I remember how long he had to wait for guidance. That's 17 cases on a leader's head. I hope it weighs heavily on them. 
  • banana468 said:
    I don't understand the corona baby boom stuff either. We're child free by choice, but if we were on the fence, nothing about economic uncertainty, hospital crowding and prolonged stress/anxiety would make me think that now is the perfect time to start trying for a baby. I guess more of a reference for people who will run low on protection? IDK. 

    I've been sucked into a really busy couple of days with work. It's been really good to be busy, but so horrible that the reason I'm so busy is the reality of the economic situation. It's really scary to see how quickly companies are going from healthy to, well, not. 

    I'm also back on being pissed off at my state. Our cases went from 5k last Friday to almost 10k today. I think this is a direct result of the governor refusing to issue a stay home order until last week. I hope it's not too late, but I'm afraid it might have been. 
    Didn't he reopen the beaches too?  

    It's bad enough when we feel like the federal government is failing us at various levels and it's so frustrating when the state government is not helping.   I'm sorry @MyNameIsNot.   That has to be really hard.    You may not have seen my rant but DH's employer is now at 17 cases in their buildings including the company president. 
    He did, and the state parks. He's an idiot. He does not care how many people get sick or die.

    I missed about your DH. Is he WFH consistently now? I remember how long he had to wait for guidance. That's 17 cases on a leader's head. I hope it weighs heavily on them. 
    DH went into work on the 16th and basically said that he was going to leave by the end of the week and hoped to work from home.   If that wasn't an option he was prepared to and would be using the 7 weeks of PTO that he accrued and stated that he felt it was too risky to his family as he could expose the kids and me AND his parents who are in their late 60s and early 70s and live 2 miles away in town.   By Wednesday of that week they'd found a laptop for him and he came home with it on Thursday.   I did not anticipate that I would start to cry when he told me he had that laptop and am thankful that since he's been home he's shown no symptoms.

    A friend and fellow employee in the same space stated that we obviously know that it's more than 17 people there.   She is also thankful to now work from home and has a coworker who has ALL the symptoms and is home but cannot get tested.   That coworker is not counted as one of the 17. 


  • @MissKittyDanger I've got a copper IUD, the Mona Lisa.  I've had it for about six years at this point - well, the same brand, but they have a 5 year life.  I like it, but I just read the book "This is Your Brain on Birth Control", and now it is making me paranoid.  The book's not actually about IUDs but what the pill does to women, and now I'm just thinking if there are all these effects from the main birth control that people use, what about the ones that are less common?  I've never had any issues with it, but my mind is all "but what if" now.  Shouldn't read horror stories ...

  • kerbohl said:
    @MissKittyDanger I've got a copper IUD, the Mona Lisa.  I've had it for about six years at this point - well, the same brand, but they have a 5 year life.  I like it, but I just read the book "This is Your Brain on Birth Control", and now it is making me paranoid.  The book's not actually about IUDs but what the pill does to women, and now I'm just thinking if there are all these effects from the main birth control that people use, what about the ones that are less common?  I've never had any issues with it, but my mind is all "but what if" now.  Shouldn't read horror stories ...
    I'll admit I'm crunchier on that front and also following it based on faith.   That said, there's a lot of study done on what hormonal BC does and why there are serious issues with it.  I admit that I am not someone who ever had a hugely high sex drive so the idea of doing it when I know I'm not fertile is a bigger deal for DH (who is also higher than me but not orders of magnitude) and not so for me.  

    I did take BC for nearly 10 years and loathed the side effects.  
  • levioosa said:
    banana468 said:
    kerbohl said:
    @MissKittyDanger I've got a copper IUD, the Mona Lisa.  I've had it for about six years at this point - well, the same brand, but they have a 5 year life.  I like it, but I just read the book "This is Your Brain on Birth Control", and now it is making me paranoid.  The book's not actually about IUDs but what the pill does to women, and now I'm just thinking if there are all these effects from the main birth control that people use, what about the ones that are less common?  I've never had any issues with it, but my mind is all "but what if" now.  Shouldn't read horror stories ...
    I'll admit I'm crunchier on that front and also following it based on faith.   That said, there's a lot of study done on what hormonal BC does and why there are serious issues with it.  I admit that I am not someone who ever had a hugely high sex drive so the idea of doing it when I know I'm not fertile is a bigger deal for DH (who is also higher than me but not orders of magnitude) and not so for me.  

    I did take BC for nearly 10 years and loathed the side effects.  
    I’ll be the first to admit that hormonal birth control has inherent flaws and isn’t perfect, but I still love it. It has provided so much more reproductive and health freedom for women. I personally couldn’t live without it. Aside from the contraceptive part (which is fantastic) I am in excruciating pain all the time without it. I would not be surprised if I (ever) have kids if labor feels pretty much like some of my periods. When I was thin I could literally see my uterus contracting beneath my skin. I would pass clots the size of my fist. I would spend days curled around the toilet vomiting from the pain. I was super anemic, exhausted, and my skin was bad. So yeah, they’re not perfect. They’re not for everyone. You have to play around with them sometimes to find one that works for you. But they are literally a lifesaver for so many women. 

    And I have a hormonal IUD now and I love it. I’m a little nervous for if my periods stop while using it. As much as I hate my period, it’s kind of a nice “hey, just checking in! You’re not preggo this month!”
    I do *get* that it works for some and should have said that.   And in my teens/early 20s it helped the heavy periods.  They have a purpose for multiple people and reasons.   But I remember being in college that it was easier to get hormonal BC than it was to find a dining hall open after 7 PM.   And it was prescribed without any discussion of the side effects.   

    Now that I'm (gasp!) 40, somehow my PCOS is not as bad, periods are more regular and I monitor fertility signs.  
  • The book definitely talks about how the pros outweigh the cons, but it was more talking about the fact that doctors don't know enough about it and the side-effects and should be warning people so that they can weigh the pros and cons.  The book mentioned how they made it harder to get steroids (which, like birth control, increase the levels of hormones) because of the side effects it was having on men, but didn't apply that research to women.  Which, yeah, don't make it harder to get birth control because that is absolutely awful, but maybe look into ways to better it so that women don't have to go through the thing that you've just decided is too harmful to men ...

    And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who can't take the hormonal birth control.  I was on it as a teen for acne (which, now looking back, was stupid - I can deal with the acne, I just wasn't thinking about how that pro does not outweigh the cons at all, but no one was talking to me about that), and I tried it again when I got married, and the side effects are just too much for my body.  Non-hormonal birth control is really my only option.  But I know people that have to be on hormonal birth control because without it their moods and cycles are too chaotic and disrupt their lives, so I'm happy it helps them with that!  It just does the opposite for me.

  • levioosa said:
    banana468 said:
    kerbohl said:
    @MissKittyDanger I've got a copper IUD, the Mona Lisa.  I've had it for about six years at this point - well, the same brand, but they have a 5 year life.  I like it, but I just read the book "This is Your Brain on Birth Control", and now it is making me paranoid.  The book's not actually about IUDs but what the pill does to women, and now I'm just thinking if there are all these effects from the main birth control that people use, what about the ones that are less common?  I've never had any issues with it, but my mind is all "but what if" now.  Shouldn't read horror stories ...
    I'll admit I'm crunchier on that front and also following it based on faith.   That said, there's a lot of study done on what hormonal BC does and why there are serious issues with it.  I admit that I am not someone who ever had a hugely high sex drive so the idea of doing it when I know I'm not fertile is a bigger deal for DH (who is also higher than me but not orders of magnitude) and not so for me.  

    I did take BC for nearly 10 years and loathed the side effects.  
    I’ll be the first to admit that hormonal birth control has inherent flaws and isn’t perfect, but I still love it. It has provided so much more reproductive and health freedom for women. I personally couldn’t live without it. Aside from the contraceptive part (which is fantastic) I am in excruciating pain all the time without it. I would not be surprised if I (ever) have kids if labor feels pretty much like some of my periods. When I was thin I could literally see my uterus contracting beneath my skin. I would pass clots the size of my fist. I would spend days curled around the toilet vomiting from the pain. I was super anemic, exhausted, and my skin was bad. So yeah, they’re not perfect. They’re not for everyone. You have to play around with them sometimes to find one that works for you. But they are literally a lifesaver for so many women. 

    And I have a hormonal IUD now and I love it. I’m a little nervous for if my periods stop while using it. As much as I hate my period, it’s kind of a nice “hey, just checking in! You’re not preggo this month!”
    Bolded is why I'm opting for the one that you still can get periods.
    Paranoia is awful for me.
  • kerbohl said:
    The book definitely talks about how the pros outweigh the cons, but it was more talking about the fact that doctors don't know enough about it and the side-effects and should be warning people so that they can weigh the pros and cons.  The book mentioned how they made it harder to get steroids (which, like birth control, increase the levels of hormones) because of the side effects it was having on men, but didn't apply that research to women.  Which, yeah, don't make it harder to get birth control because that is absolutely awful, but maybe look into ways to better it so that women don't have to go through the thing that you've just decided is too harmful to men ...

    And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who can't take the hormonal birth control.  I was on it as a teen for acne (which, now looking back, was stupid - I can deal with the acne, I just wasn't thinking about how that pro does not outweigh the cons at all, but no one was talking to me about that), and I tried it again when I got married, and the side effects are just too much for my body.  Non-hormonal birth control is really my only option.  But I know people that have to be on hormonal birth control because without it their moods and cycles are too chaotic and disrupt their lives, so I'm happy it helps them with that!  It just does the opposite for me.
    I may look into this book.
    I've been on b.c for years - pill and patch - with low effects, but my dr isn't sure which the gyno will suggest given my anxiety/depression meds.

    I'm really only looking at IUD to buy time for M to snip or myself surgery
  • As for the comments about a baby boom, historically they happen anytime people have to stay close together for extended periods of time or are reunited after extended periods of time. I don't think they mean people plan on having kids because of the circumstance but it just happens. Probably isn't as much an occurrence now because of greater use of more reliable birth control, but it is a quantifiable occurrence in past situations - hence the comments or jokes.
  • As for the comments about a baby boom, historically they happen anytime people have to stay close together for extended periods of time or are reunited after extended periods of time. I don't think they mean people plan on having kids because of the circumstance but it just happens. Probably isn't as much an occurrence now because of greater use of more reliable birth control, but it is a quantifiable occurrence in past situations - hence the comments or jokes.
    I'm sure.   The big difference though IMO is that in prior situations like blizzards or even after WW2 people weren't dying and doctors offices were open.    Maybe I'm optimistic but I hope people see this as just a little different. 
  • banana468 said:
    As for the comments about a baby boom, historically they happen anytime people have to stay close together for extended periods of time or are reunited after extended periods of time. I don't think they mean people plan on having kids because of the circumstance but it just happens. Probably isn't as much an occurrence now because of greater use of more reliable birth control, but it is a quantifiable occurrence in past situations - hence the comments or jokes.
    I'm sure.   The big difference though IMO is that in prior situations like blizzards or even after WW2 people weren't dying and doctors offices were open.    Maybe I'm optimistic but I hope people see this as just a little different. 
    Fair point. I also think people sometimes need levity in dire circumstances to get through it all. As I told a friend of mine, I have to concentrate on the good numbers (80%+ recovery) and not the bad ones since my daughter is frontline as of Saturday. If I focus on the negativity, I won't be able to mentally make it through or be there for the grandsons. Even though they are little, I know they can pick up on things. So I choose to believe that we will be alright. Might be naive but that is how I will cope.
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