Wedding Woes

Less than two months away

Needing some feed back.
We are less that two months away from our wedding, my fiance and I maintain a good relationship with each of our families. Or so i though, a few weeks ago we were at a get together at my fiances sisters home. Him and I had a small argument and resolved it fairly quickly, and discretely between the two of us, hardly anyone knew we had a disagreement. An hour later I walked into the house to use the restroom and his brother in law started yelling at me, and getting very hostile over the fact that my fiance and I had a disagreement. I responded him with "what happened was not their business" It of course escalated from there and his sister got involved. She began being just as hostile and say some pretty harsh things. We left and we are not talking to them, my fiance has tried to reach out to them and asked that they apologize. However, his sister thinks that she did nothing wrong. We have been together almost 3 years, if she had a problem I would have expected she pulled me aside and spoke to me personally. We get married in two months, she said they will not be attending the wedding now. What happened, happened and we can't go back. They do not want to own up to their actions. But I worry later down the road my fiance will resent me for his sister not being at our wedding. I know this was not my fault however the fight happened between the brother in law and I. I feel stuck, I want my fiance to be happy. But I also have respect for myself and do not want others to think it is okay for them to treat me badly. 

Re: Less than two months away

  • Needing some feed back.
    We are less that two months away from our wedding, my fiance and I maintain a good relationship with each of our families. Or so i though, a few weeks ago we were at a get together at my fiances sisters home. Him and I had a small argument and resolved it fairly quickly, and discretely between the two of us, hardly anyone knew we had a disagreement. An hour later I walked into the house to use the restroom and his brother in law started yelling at me, and getting very hostile over the fact that my fiance and I had a disagreement. I responded him with "what happened was not their business" It of course escalated from there and his sister got involved. She began being just as hostile and say some pretty harsh things. We left and we are not talking to them, my fiance has tried to reach out to them and asked that they apologize. However, his sister thinks that she did nothing wrong. We have been together almost 3 years, if she had a problem I would have expected she pulled me aside and spoke to me personally. We get married in two months, she said they will not be attending the wedding now. What happened, happened and we can't go back. They do not want to own up to their actions. But I worry later down the road my fiance will resent me for his sister not being at our wedding. I know this was not my fault however the fight happened between the brother in law and I. I feel stuck, I want my fiance to be happy. But I also have respect for myself and do not want others to think it is okay for them to treat me badly. 

    jic
    image
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly, I'm really confused here. Did you have a discrete argument, or did you have a disagreement that others at the gathering knew about? If it was discrete, how did his sister and BIL know about it?  

    Without prying too much, what was this argument about? What was BIL yelling at you? Later you say you got in a fight with BIL, what was that about? Why is this argument with your FI something your FSIL would have pulled you aside to talk to you about personally?
    levioosaSTARMOON44short+sassy
  • Honestly, I'm really confused here. Did you have a discrete argument, or did you have a disagreement that others at the gathering knew about? If it was discrete, how did his sister and BIL know about it?  

    Without prying too much, what was this argument about? What was BIL yelling at you? Later you say you got in a fight with BIL, what was that about? Why is this argument with your FI something your FSIL would have pulled you aside to talk to you about personally?
    This is pretty much where I am. Are you sure the argument was as discreet as you think it was? Does this kind of thing happen a lot? I just find it a little strange that your future in-laws were so aware of it and so upset over it. 
    image
    levioosaSTARMOON44short+sassy
  • I literally do not understand this timeline of events. I also don’t understand how a disagreement between you and your partner turned into a protracted, hostile fight between you and your FI and his sister and BIL.  I think more details are needed to really give solid advice.

     However if your FI is supporting you and your relationship, I’m not understanding why you’re thinking he’s going to be mad at you somewhere down the line. If he feels you and he did nothing wrong to warrant their reaction, then be confident in that. Unless there’s been issues with him going back on his support of you with his family in the past. 

    short+sassyVarunaTT
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 3
    I feel like a huge part of this story is missing. If this disagreement was so discreet and resolved quickly, how did they even know about it? And the disagreement was so minor, but yet they don't want to attend your wedding? 

    Something's not adding up here. 

    mrsconn23banana468charlotte989875MNNEBride
  • I feel like a huge part of this story is missing. If this disagreement was so discreet and resolved quickly, how did they even know about it? And the disagreement was so minor, but yet they don't want to attend your wedding? 

    Something's not adding up here. 
    This.   Something is not adding up.   

    Also why would you feel guilty if your FI is completely backing you up? 
    mrsconn23MNNEBride
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