My roommate and I have lived together for a year. Sometimes we act more like a couple than roommates, and I have feelings for him. He has made some comments that have given me pause: joking that we are like an old married couple or showing me a friend’s engagement ring and saying he would never get me one but if he did it would be “beautiful.” He has also come to visit my parents in my hometown and invited them over for dinner several times. But we’ve never talked about it, and I don’t have any hard evidence. I haven’t said anything because I’ve been scared to mess up our living situation or make him uncomfortable if he doesn’t feel the same way. We share a lot of friends, and I don’t have anywhere else I could easily move to right now, so there’s plenty at stake.
I spent some time away from him over the last few weeks and went on a few dates, hoping the feelings would subside a little, but they have not. I feel if I do not say something soon, I will regret it, because he is starting to grow a little distant. I am also working through this with a therapist who thinks I should talk to him, but I wanted to get your opinion. Is it ever worth it to tell someone your feelings if they might not be reciprocated and could mess up a good living situation? When should rationality outweigh feelings?
