Pretty sure you don't have a case.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am furious with another set of parents. My 16-year-old daughter has recently told her mother and me that she is pregnant. It happened at a party that was not well-supervised, and there was alcohol involved. The boy involved and his family are owning up to their share of the responsibility, but the owners of the house are absolutely infuriating me. They need to admit their share of this burden, as it was their booze and their house party that allowed this to happen. My family is going to have a lot of expenses due to this new baby, and I don’t know how much the boy’s family can help, so it seems that the party’s host should help out, again as it was on their watch that this happened. So far, that family has ignored me when I have tried to speak with them about this. I am ready to call a lawyer to press the issue, but my wife thinks I am overreacting. What do you think?

—Where’s the Money?

banana468

Oh boy.  

No, you don't have a case here.   The parents can be responsible for allowing underage drinking.   I don't think that they're responsible for your grandchild's conception in the same way that suits against a firearm manufacturer for the murder of a person don't go well.    

In this situation the only thing that the owners are guilty of are allowing underage drinking in their home. 

ei34

If the house party parents planned the party, invited the attendees, walked around yelling “chug chug chug!” and pressuring the teens into drinking, and encouraged them to feel free to the bedrooms, I could see blaming them.  Although I still think the two people responsible for the pregnancy are LW’s daughter and the boy who slept with her.  Misplaced blame is one of the stages of anger, so I get where LW is coming from, but I don’t hiring a lawyer would get them very far.

charlotte989875

You’re angry with your daughter and turning it on these parents. They were irresponsible for letting teenagers drink, but they have nothing to do with her becoming pregnant. They don’t owe you anything, financially or otherwise. 

You need to focus on supporting your daughter now and let this go with the other parents. As scared as you are, she’s 1000x more afraid and needs you for guidance. 

STARMOON44

Omg this is the laugh I needed

CharmedPam

Dear Prudie

i got fat from eating at Wendy’s 3 times a day.  Can I sue McDonalds?

Casadena

If this is your logic, why were you letting your daughter go to unsupervised parties? Sounds like youre not pissed at your daughter for going, just that the parents didn't supervise?  If your daughter was having sex with this boy, she would have found a way to do it regardless of whose party it was at.  (unless there was any coersion, assualt, etc involved, but that does not sound like the case). 

I guess my point is that the parent only sounds like he's pissed about the party/alcohol bc daughter is now pregnant, which is totally missing the point for me.  He's insane if he thinks these parents are in any way responsible for his grandchild.  

banana468

Casadena said:

If this is your logic, why were you letting your daughter go to unsupervised parties? Sounds like youre not pissed at your daughter for going, just that the parents didn't supervise?  If your daughter was having sex with this boy, she would have found a way to do it regardless of whose party it was at.  (unless there was any coersion, assualt, etc involved, but that does not sound like the case). 

I guess my point is that the parent only sounds like he's pissed about the party/alcohol bc daughter is now pregnant, which is totally missing the point for me.  He's insane if he thinks these parents are in any way responsible for his grandchild.  

Right? 

You can be really upset at what's happening but unless this was actually a sexual assault and she was incapable of consenting due to intoxication you're directing this the wrong way.

short+sassy

What do I think?  I think you're delusional.  If I owned the house that held the party, I'd be ignoring your crazy, ranting calls also.

And if the LW has already been throwing around the word "lawyer" in a conversation and/or message, that's all the more reason for them to stay silent.

I'm also inferring from the LW's comments an attitude of "my innocent, blameless daughter".  Who never would have done such "unspeakable" things like premarital sex, had it not been for alcohol and that boy.  She would and did, so stop with the self-righteousness already.  The two teenagers are equally responsible.  Nobody else.  Stop pointing fingers in all directions.