Talk to your partner about your concerns and be honest going forward.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My partner just accepted a fly-in, fly-out job with a two-week rotation. We live together, which means I’ll be home alone roughly half the time in the middle of a pandemic. It’s a short contract for now, so he also wants to maintain his current job, in case things don’t work out. This means that he’d then be on call for more than half of the days he’s home with me, including weekends. I don’t know if I can handle this much time apart, especially since it’s almost winter, and I can’t get together with anyone else indoors due to our city’s serious COVID restrictions. I work from home and already struggle with loneliness. We have a really strong relationship, and I’m encouraging him to make choices that will improve his career, but I’m also scared and sad. How do I handle the distance, support my partner, while also staying sane and positive?

—Fly-By Relationship

banana468

You need to be honest with your partner and have a real conversation.   Feel out what each others hard and fast rules are.   

missJeanLouise

As a person who values my alone time, my first thought is Therapy. It seems unhealthy to me to not be able to be by yourself for short stretches of time.
Reach out to different groups to feel less isolated. Online bookclubs, art classes, comedy shows/ concerts, wedding forums, etc. are all good ways to feel less alone.

short+sassy

As more of an introvert myself, I'll admit I'm having trouble relating to this letter.  I think the LW should have some counseling sessions.  A therapist could help them with coping strategies to work out their feelings of loneliness.

Other things that might help are getting outside and going on walks (when weather permits).  Find a hobby to work on that they can focus their attention on.  Get involved in a charity.

With the partner, maybe they can schedule specific day/times for Zoom calls and the like when that person is out of town.  When the partner is home, schedule romantic date nights in the house when they aren't on call.  Like, every Wed. and Sat. night they cook a special meal and have dinner over candlelight.

They LW should also keep focus that all of this is temporary.  (Hopefully) the pandemic and definitely their partner working this "two-job, fly in/out  for one" schedule.  And remember all the positive things this schedule is doing for them in the meantime.  I assume it's more money.  The LW and their partner should set a fun goal for when things get back to normal.  And "plan" for that!  Even if planning is just daydreaming and talking about it right now.  Maybe they plan an amazing trip.  Maybe they plan upgrades to their house.  Whatever would be motivating for them and something to look forward to.

MyNameIsNot

It's ok to want to support your partner's but also want to meet your own needs. Given the economic situation and the short term nature of the job, it seems like one of those times were you just have to give a little more, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to your partner about how you're feeling and how they can help.

I know its pandemic and everything is different, but this also sounds like LW is looking to have one person fulfill all their needs. Even if they can't go to social events in person, they can use the phone, engage in virtual events, and so on to avoid being lonely.